She reappears with a "Been thinking about you" text

The basics:

We meet at work in December. There is some sort of chemistry going on there, but the timing just wasn't right. We take things outside of the workplace in May. She begins acting distant in June. She loses her job (laid off) so I no longer see her there. In July it slips out in a conversation she had been seeing someone for a month. It eats at me for a week and I finally confronted her that had I known she had been seeing someone, I would have backed off. I had started to develop feelings for her and now hearing about this guy all the time hurts. She tells me she understands, but she is all in love with this guy and I need to do what I need to do.

Over the past 6 weeks we never spoke. There were maybe 4 texts exchanged, the last a few weeks ago. Just nonchalant stuff. Today I get a text from her "Been thinking about you. Hope all is well". I respond that all is great. She calls me 20 minutes later. At first I could tell she was nervous how I was going to react. But I spoke to her like no time had passed. She eased up and it was almost like old times again. A big difference is she went out of her way to incorporate sexual innuendo into the conversation, Normally this might appear once in a conversation, she was forcing it this time. Dozens of bad, not very witty attempts at innuendo. Over two hours she never mentioned this guy directly. He came up indirectly in a negative way.

All seemed to be friendly and such. She told me she is trying to get re-hired so we can work together again. Near the end she got really emotional, I think she was crying a little and hiding it. She says "I need to hear something positive. Tell me everything is going to be okay." I said "What is going to be okay?" She responds "Everything. I need to hear YOU say everything is going to be okay."

I don't get it? I know she misses me. But she knows I have feelings for her as well. Does she just crave my attention? Are friends that hard to find?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate to say it but it sounds like she has broken up with this guy . . . . . And now your the next best thing! If this man has left her she is probably looking for some sort of comfort and reassurance that she is still desirable. The fact that she kept dropping sexual innuendos looks like she is trying lure you back with sex! She may very well be very upset that her relationship has broken down and probably regrets being with this guy over you in the first place! Grass is always greener and all that!

    My advice would be to play it cool. Don't be her rebound. Maintain contact but don't be too eager. If she continues to keep talking to you over the next couple of months then maybe think about taking it further.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She tells you she's in love with a guy, but then incorporates sexual innuendos into you and her's conversation...DOZENS of innuendos?! Then she wants to get re-hired so you two can work together again? That is not cool. Her giving you false hope like that...when she knows you have feelings for her.

    If she's really emotional over the phone, how emotional is she going to be at work when you guys are working together again?

    • To be clear, she told me she was in love with him 2 months ago. Today she never mentioned him directly (she mentioned lately her hobbies have taken a back seat to his and is tired of it). But I do worry about the false hope possibility.

    • If she's still dating him, then she still likes him and is in love with him.

      I don't understand this woman-unless maybe she just views you as a friend and doesn't want to lose you?

What Guys Said 1

  • She sounds like an emotionally unstable train wreck dude. Stay far far away from her . Only a woman would call a guy out of the for over 2 hrs...get emotional...and then ask the person on the other end to tell her Everything is going to be okay! Listen man. You can run pretty fast right? Okay...lace up your running shoes, and high tail it in the opposite direction of this chick! If you get in a relationship with will take a lot of money and professional counseling to be normal again!


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