I'm on a one week break. I need support :(

My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I are on our first break together. I've always seen him as my future husband. He on the other end isn't sure he's into me as much. He needs this time to figure out if he really loves me and misses me enough to continue putting effort into us long-term (towards mariage).

We're on Day 2 and I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me. I only cried after he left but not since. He cried a lot and couldn't stop kissing me and hugging me. That gave me hope that he'll come to his senses and want me back. He's 23 and I'm his first girlfriend, so I think he's just ungrateful for what he has and scared of long-time commitment. He doesn't know what he wants but I do.

However, I'm starting to wonder if I'm taking it so well because I'm too hopeful and reality hasn't set it, or if I'm truly feeling better out of the relationship. He wasn't treating me the best lately and now we have NC at all.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being that you are his first and only girlfriend, his curiosity is getting the best of him. He seems to be wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Every instance he goes away on vacation, he experiences part of a life that intrigues him; the single life. As a result, a tug of war begins. Which is perhaps the reason why he becomes aloof when he returns to you.

    Since wanting to share the rest of your life with someone should be a subconscious feeling, his being on the fence should be construed as a sign that he is not ready to be the guy that you deserve.

    Personally, I think he needs more time to evolve as a man before he considers marriage, so that he is mature enough to fight off the temptations that most men experience throughout their lives. Regardless of when the relationship resumes, now or possibly in the future, I think it would be wise of you to delay any talk of marriage until he's proven that he absolutely ready to be by your standards.

    In the mean time, try get away and engage in things that make you happy. He knows you are a good person and mate. You did nothing wrong. Either way, you will be OK.

    Good Luck,

    • Yes, I think you have it spot on in your 1st paragraph. I didn't introduce the subject of marriage. He's the one who's making a fixation about whether or not we could work ''really long-term". I don't need him to be ready NOW but he can't stop making any affort on and off. I want us to see each other more, soon live together and THEN see if we work. Right now we have none of those things, so I'm pissed he's reconsidering us before we even try and live in such a companionship! :'(

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    • I fully agree with you!

    • We broke up. He probably shouldn't have let curiosity get the best of him since well, he wanted to stay friends and I didn't. So we didn't contact each other after the break up whatsoever. It's been 5 weeks! Thanks for the advice

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What Guys Said 2

  • were you guys fighting or anything prior to this break? it seems odd that he would arbitrarily just decide he needs a week to decide how he feels. is there more to this break then you mentioned?

    • He wasn't in a rush to see me again after going on vacation. TWICE. He wasn't putting in as much effort as he used to and that hurt my feelings a lot. He became distant. We had a few discussions and they all came down to "I am not sure if it's gonna work really long-term. I know I'm hurting you and I'm really sorry about this. You don't deserve me making you waste your time, so I must clear my mind and decide." He knows it's either marriage later or apart - I won't settle for an on/off couple.

    • He said he's not sure if he'd prefer me as a very good friend or a girlfriend. I told him that if we're breaking up, we ain't staying friends. He said I'm his first girlfriend and he knows I'm a great girlfriend. He ACTUALLY said "It's not you, it's me. I don't know what I want". I told him I won't stay waiting forever and he needs to make up his mind. He says he needs time and that he is sure that a week will be enough to figure things out. I told him that I won't wait a second week afterwards.

    • well I wouldn't even given him a one week break. I mean he already went on vacation so essentionally now he's asking you to just wait on hold. wait the week if you want, but if I were you I'd just break up with him. tell him you can't be back and forth like this and you deserve better. I'd explain that if he feels differently sometime in the future then maybe you can see what's there but if I were you I'd be ready to move and not let this guy ruin me emotionally

  • He has low interest in you girl! It would be in your best interest to walk away from this guy.


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