Am I wasting my time or will it be worth it?

okay so first I am 20. The guy is 24. He was dating a girl for 3 years, and about a year ago she broke up with him. they were good for each other in the sense that they both had very unique personalities and I wasn't close to either of them but I had met them a few times briefly when they were together. as a girl I understand that sometimes what was there in a relationship sometimes just isn't anymore. I fully know that he doesn't understand that. and I know that if he could fix it he would try. he's a capricorn to a tee, very to himself, very hard worker, doesn't open up easily, but caring and gentle to those that are close to him.

a little less than 7 months ago we had started talking and openly both agreed to have a sexual relationship and build a friendship while we were doing it, but to keep it at just that. I am not normally his "type". I have lost 75lbs since last October, and I am still going down. I started at 270. he likes thinner girls. but still we were just fooling around. as we got more into it he started to kiss me goodbye. And play with my hands while he played WOW. And I would rub his back. the more we went on we brought it up to each other. we got across that we still don't wanna date each other right now but we do care for each other and like to take care of each other.

i started helping him look for a studio apartment, we found one went and saw it and he moved in there 2 months ago. I sleep over and things have continued and he has seen another girl, but from context she isn't permenant. I've talked to guys too but he also knows they aren't permenant. he has a very touchy past. His mom killed herself when he was 11 to where then he was sent to live and be raised by a father that never planned on having children or attachments. He grew up very rough and has a hard time trusting people and he doesn't understand the concept of me, and doing things for him just because it makes me happy without needed something in return. he knows that I'm not leaving him and if he asked me out I would say yes. But becoming very close to him and having him open up to me about his dad and his ex girlfriend and his thoughts, I know that he isn't ready to be in another serious relationship yet, and I know enough to know that I don't wanna be dating someone who wishes I was someone else (he thought his ex was the one, his only match, and never having people stabily be there for him I can understand his strong feelings about it and her). Like I said I don't want to have him wish I was her so I have no rush to be in a serious relationship with him, no need to push him.

he makes me open up to new stuff. I care about him a lot and I know that he cares for me and like I said I'm in no rush. He calls me babe, not all of the time just when I won't expect it everything he does for me is in portion control because he doesn't want me to expect more because neither of us know where its going. We're friends at the least, does it sound like we'll be together?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think the both of you will ever be a couple. He is a mess emotionally.

    • its okay if you don't have any more imput but I was wondering if you had anything more to add to why we won't be? not inan argumentative way what so ever, but I came on this site to understand. what is to stop it from happening when I get to the ideal smaller size I wanna be at, when he has time to rebound himself from his ex, growing and learning more about each other, him being the one to bring up the personal stuff, I just guess I was looking for some more insight from a male.

What Girls Said 1

  • the fact that you are sleeping with him w no strings attached is a disaster in the making,he can't take you serious because you are accepting crumbs ,u need to know your worth,stop sleeping with him,he will end up finding someone else and leave you in the cold,unless..u start backing off..u seem to be falling for can't be helped,intimacy does that to us females,u need to decide if you want to be more to him or happy being bootie call friends..


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