She found a rebound in less than 2 weeks after we broke up Is she going to get crash and burned when its over?

Long story short, I was with this girl for over 4 years and we broke up just over 2 months ago. Did the whole no contact and what not, she drunk dialled me once and was being nice after the break up; I'm being as mature as I can here. I was pretty much the good boyfriend any girl could've asked for, has a steady job, moved to another city for her because of study reason, cooks for her, pay her dinner/movies or any other expenses when we go out on dates! be there for her when she's emotionally distraught. I sometimes lie and do the wrong things but we all make mistakes yeah since we're only human. Before the downfall of the relationship she wrote me a letter downsizing me and outlined all my mistakes and of all the things she's not happy with and it was pretty much 'i'm not happy about...blah blah; I did the mature thing and apologize and promised her that it won't happen again (mistake I know) I should've told her about her shortcomings that I've been keeping inside too but of course I didn't want to instigate.

She had to move to another state for temporary work and our last night together was kinda rocky and she left in a confusing state. After she's gone I called her one night and told her about things that was honest and she broke it off right there and then! I begged a little and ask for an explanation but there were no closures! I was left confused, utterly heart broken and absolutely crushed (pathetically cried for like 3 weeks straight and lost weight) anyway, I've apologized to her 2 days ago and I got message back and she said she "appreciate the apologies" but she didn't say sorry that she broke my heart (the bitch), yesterday I called my sister and she's still friends with my ex on Facebook and she told me she's now in a relationship with another guy she works with! I broke down a little and that feelings turned into raging anger and then I called one my friend and he told me that he also looked at my 'ex's' new toy that he's been with her 2 weeks after she an I broke up! I got fuelled up with anger again but I did not confront my ex about it! my friends said it's best to ignore her and my family also said the same because she hasn't given herself enough time to completely over me and on the rebound; she will go down in a bigger flame sooner or later my question I guess, is this the case is she completely over me. My ex's new toy boy, from what I heard, he's younger, has deep red strawberry hair, worked at some random toy shop and doesn't have a Uni degree (sounds like an average douche to me) and what also my friend described...I'm cutting of contact now forever and will not give her anymore of my time and respect because this is like the biggest insults anyone has ever done to me!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex boyfriend of two years did the same thing. I'm about 95% sure he was cheating. The only thing you can do is stop contacting her at all, stop looking at her on Facebook, stop asking about her. It's f***ing painful as hell to be betrayed and treated unfairly. My ex did the same thing - ran me down and I held my tongue because I have more compassion and fairness.

    The truth ... some people are just a**holes. Some have some tremendous positive qualities, but they are lacking in other character traits that make someone a good partner. Sometime we want to try to justify the amount of investment we put into them and expect some kind of repentance on their behalf, but I don't think the world works this way. Keep your own integrity in mind. You will get through this, but holding onto anger or blaming yourself will not help you move forward. Sorry this happened to you.

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    • I know right! Some people should have the integrity and the guts to give us the real reasons so I can close that door properly and never give the other person the chance to break your heart again! I really have done so much for this person; and this is like insulting me right in my face and there's no way that I can give her the same amount of respect and trust ever again...our mutual friends said maybe you guys can be friends again, 'in my mind I was like, hell no' I can't...

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    • be friends with someone like that! Other people probably said that I'm immature and can't handle the break-up! Guess what, I handled the break up amicably, I didn't terrorise her with messages, I didn't beg like a dog for weeks on end, I didn't insult her back! I have done everything in my power to give her respect and she spat it back out, guess what! she can have her rebound and I'm sure one day she'll treat him the same way or maybe the other way around!

    • Thank you! And I will, I've already put the anger energy to a good use; I stayed up until 2am and wrote 4 pages of lyrics! now I'm trying to put them together with my guitar :D My sister sent me a message this morning, don't be angry; she's not worth it and definitely not worthy of you! she said that I have a good heart and was very good boyfriend to her! She just didn't see it clearly and one day she will and it will be over for good when she realise...

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What Girls Said 1

  • What 'things' did you tell her about that was honest that caused her to break up with you? What did you do wrong?

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    • I told her that sometimes I can get a bit carried away with having fun with friends when we were living in Japan and I'm sorry if I can appear neglectful towards her and I can understand it if she feels like she needed to have fun at her work and forget about me...and then she decided to break up right there! I was shocked! I was being apologetic and honest; then got kicked in the teeth

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    • You'll get there, it just takes time. You'll meet someone else that is so much better for u, you won't understand why you felt so much for the ex. Just chalk it up as a learning experience. I was the one to end the relationship both times, they both tried to rekindle things but I'd had enough & I could only hear I'm sorry for the same sh*t so many times, before my heart just would not allow me to love them proper like a woman should. Wish them both the best, and I've found my forever love :-)

    • Thank you, and I did. I apologized to her and wished her the best and after I heard what she had done to me I realized that she's definitely not the same person that I used to know who can be very compassionate and kind, beautiful on the inside/outside! If someone like this treated me this way after all the sacrifice I have been through the I definitely deserves better! Most of my friends said you are already the better person! I've put all the anger last night into song lyrics :D

What Guys Said 2

  • There really is no such thing as a rebound. Let her be and move on.

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    • Yeah maybe, maybe not, who knows, I don't care now and try to move on, I've blocked all forms of communications not in spite but to gain self-control; out sight, out of mind, out of feelings and one day I will be whole again; not trying to be the person I was before I met her instead, trying to be a new person and I'm going to get that future of mine without hindrance this time. I have to let go my emotional baggage completely to regain more confidence and better relationship in the future...

  • She was probably already seeing him...

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    • Yeah I know that now man, I just didn't know about it and she went behind my back! There's never a good way to break up with someone but give that person the clear reasons early so they can have the proper closure! Now the wounds are left open again! It sucks finding it out like this and I thought she was pretty mature person but I guess not...

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