My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago due to fighting, which I have taken the blame for and I really have changed in order to make us work. We were together 3 years. I made the mistake of nagging and begging even though I knew it would get me nowhere fast. I just couldn't accept it. Two months later I still can't accept it but he says now that "it's too late" and "I didn't give him time to miss me." I understand his point and I know even now I need to leave him alone, but if I stop contact now is it too late for him to miss me? He still says if I met someone else it would break his heart and he can't stand thinking about it, but he still won't give me another chance to make our relationship great. He says he doesn't want to date me or anyone and just wants to focus on himself. How do I go about getting him back now when it seems hopeless?
Most Helpful Girl
Girl,He already told you how he feels.He doesn't want to be with you or anyone else right now.THAT MEANS,its NOT just about YOU. You made mistakes as everyone does,and all you can do is learn from them so that in the future,when you meet your next partner,you WON'T do the same thing. As for you and this guy? Sometimes its good just to leave things alone.It didn't work out the first time,and he probably doesn't want to revisit it for a SECOND go round...which is understandable. Of course you want to try and prove yourself,and make things right.But the fact of the matter is,you can't. Leave the situation alone and find someone else.
Right now,he clearly just wants to focus on himself and that should be FINE with you. I feel as though you are putting yourself through unecessary drama just because YOU want him back because you are familiar with him and it feels right.But the fact of the matter is,I just don't think he wants you back,and I think its something you need to accept.If he wanted to be with you...HE WOULD BE WITH YOU. Relationships sometimes run their course.Its highly probable that other things were happening in the relationship that you didn't even know about...other grievances on his behalf that he didn't express.
Also,I'm going to be real here...
Its highly probable that for a young man,he wants to experience being single for a bit. He has been with you for 3 years.Single life can be awesome.Sorry,but that's reality for you.
My advice to you.Stop trying to get him back.Kicking and screaming will NOT work.It will only enforce his decision of leaving the realtionship.The relationship is dead.The sooner you ACCEPT that,the better girly.Sorry to deliver the bad news.But...its done.Mourn the loss of it,and get yourself back up and going.
I know it hurts and sucks...but its what's happening right now.Also,him saying that he would feel negatively if you found someone else...is what a lot of people say and think.That's because they are being SELFISH.Its sort of like..."Since you're not with me,you shouldn't have anyone else...that is until I find someone new to date,THEN its okay for you to date someone new." That's all that really means.
Girly,I don't ever agree with getting back with someone who kicked you to the curb.Why?Because they can easily turn around,and do it...AGAIN.Also,it turns into a very conditional relationship.I guarantee you will always feel scared or nervous that he will want to turn around and leave you again.That's why I think should let by gones be bye gones,and find a new and fresh relationship.Just my honest and humble opinion.I hope things get better.1