How can you tell if your ex still has feelings for you?

I want to get back together with my ex girlfriend. She's single for the time being but as we started a new semester at college and she's meeting all these new "interesting" people, I feel like the window of opportunity is rapidly closing. She claims that she's not interested in anyone and would rather take more time for herself but I know its only a matter of time before someone asks her out and she agrees. I want to ask her myself but I don't know how she feels about me anymore. She says she won't let herself date me again, something about having to change her whole mindset and emotions after we broke up. But that was months ago when she was in a very abusive relationship from which she's still healing. Lately we've been hanging out a lot more and I feel like she's been showing some positive signs or signs of interest. She'll punch me a lot, like in the stomach or arm, she'll rest her legs on me when we're sitting watching tv, she'll rub my chest with her legs and feet (sounds weird ik). Hmm what else? She'll sleep in my bed from time to time but then she'll yell at me for cuddling too much in my sleep. I should also mention I care very deeply about this girl. Yes she's my ex but I'm not trying to bring back our old relationship. I just believe that we're very compatible and that we could have an even better relationship this time around if she gave me a chance. I'm very confused by this girl so any help would be appreciated. thanks!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I will say that if she really isn't interested in you like that then she shouldn't be so intimate with you. You'll need to find a way to get her to tell you how she feels about you. If she says she only wants to be friends then you'll need to draw the line and tell her that her laying in bed with you and resting her legs on you etc. is giving you the wrong impression. I wish you the best of luck and admire you for feeling this way, sticking to it and believing in it.

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    • Its tough because part of me loves the intimacy with her despite being only friends, like even if its just laying in bed or having her legs rest on me, I find myself somewhat addicted to that physical contact. the problem of course, is I'll inevitably want more. Part of me blames myself for breaking up in the first place, but if we hadn't I'm not sure I'd feel the same about her anymore. I love her, everything about her in every sense of the word and I just wish she'd give me a chance.

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    • Another part of me wishes my ex wanted nothing to do with me, like not even remain friends. At least then I could get some distance and separation and closure but no we decided to remain friends and in each others' lives. It's torture sometimes, a lot of the time if I'm being honest, but if it helps us get back together one day I'll consider it worth it. I don't know what your situation with your ex is but I hope you find some resolution. Thanks

    • No problem. I wish you all the best. But always do what's best for you. If you feel simply being friends is torture you don't have to put up with it. Plus, you can always be distant friends and still have her in your life with out having you hold on to the feelings you have for her by always being so present.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The crazy thing is, I'm a girl but I feel like I am in the exact same situation but with a dude. I think this issue isn't a guys/girls issue, but a people issue. And I will straight up tell you that I am having all the same concerns and fears that you are, feeling that having that connection with someone so important in your life trumps whether or not you're lovers, but then also feeling like something is missing because you're not... That's how I feel about it anyway.

    The thing I was told by a friend of mine, who ALSO went through something like this with her boyfriend, was that, cliche as it sounds, these things take time. No one ever wants to hear if it's meant to be, it will be, but that's kind of the raw truth about it. I personally think it's important to maintain that bond even if things seem up in the air and even if it's hard... because good relationships are built on good bonds. That doesn't mean I still don't worry that my man is just interested in a super close friendship with me, or that he's not confused at all in his feelings even though I am unsure of what signals I'm getting from him. I think if it' really is an issue, try to find a way to talk about it. If you can't talk about it, then what kind of relationship would you expect to have?

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think this girl really wants to date you again , you on the other hand do and maybe need to ask yourself if she is worth it or could you start a new relationship with another girl from college ?

    I don't know its touch to deal with things like this and I've had girls from past I've wanted to be with again but its hard to go back to where things were before

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    • I could date other people instead, I mean I have but, I believe she's worth it. I know she's worth it. Our time together was the happiest point in either of our lives. We only broke up because of my depression and issues with my parents, both which are in the past. Is it that bad to ask for a second chance?

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    • well yeah everyone likes to meet new people , being at college you have to except the reality she is going to be meeting new people either in class or at parties . you can't yet that bother you as I'm sure your meeting new people as well , if she is good looking and single guys are going to hit on her and ask her out that's just life

    • I do accept the reality that she's meeting new people and being hit on and asked out. Or perhaps accept is the wrong word. I acknowledge it, but I want to change it. Like I feel if we were together I'd be more okay with it, if that makes sense lol. But honestly I think it may be too late because she's probably interested in one of the new guys but as you said that's just life. I'll just have to get over it

  • Don't get into relationships with ticking time bombs my friend.

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