A mom telling her 5yr old son, to not be nice to his dad's girlfriend. Do you think that's wrong?

I have a cousin who has two kids out of wed lock,with

a girl he use to date. I think they may have dated in

high school, because they had there first kid when they

were 19. Anyway, there relationship was always horrible.

They would fight, yell, break up,get back together, move in

together,then one would kick the other out. Needless to

say that was a pattern that continued for a long while.

Their oldest who is 13 now, witnessed most of these events

and by the time they had their youngest (who is now 5),

they were nearing the end of their relationship.

They've been broken up for a while now and it didn't take

her long to find a guy (actually,many guys.) Let's just

say, she gets around (if you catch my drift). She actually

dating a guy who's 23 and she's in her late 30's. Anyway,

my cousin he hasn't really dated anyone since her. But, he's

now been dating the same women for little over a year. She

also has a child, a son who's 10. So, that's a good thing. They

never fight and she cooks,cleans and cares for the kids. They're

getting pretty serious and she may be moving in with him.

Now, to the point of my question. So, his ex told their 5yr old

"You can't call her mommy, you can't say you love her, even

if she says it to you and you can't be nice to her." Obviously,

the 5yr old told my cousins girlfriend that and she said "

I understand,but I still love you". Do you think that was wrong

of his ex to say that to their son? I most certainly do! Because,

though they have a verbal a agreement that she has custody

of the kids, they actually live with him. And, she only sees

them when it's convenient for her. His kids love this women that

he's seeing, they even run to her instead of there mother when

they need something (which speaks volume's).

Anyhoo, do you think what she did was wrong? And, wouldn't

most women be happy that there ex is dating someone who

loves her kids and is a mother herself? I'm just curious.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I definitely think that it is wrong to do, I would guess she is just feeling threatened, if she already doesn't have custody of her children and there is a new women coming into the picture she may feel like she is being replaced, that her children will like her more and have a replacement mommy as she is forgotten. While it was most definitely wrong, it's probably just out of fear. I can tell you my parents divorced when I was two years old, not to long after my dad met someone else ( they had joint custody) and two years later when she went to move in with my dad ( her and her 2 children both older) and the first thing she did was talk to my mom, she told her that she never has a plan to try and take over her role as a mother, and she will make sure to care for me and look after me as one of her own but never take the role as mother, she would remain "her name" and a added member of the family. This helped to shoe the realization that my mother was never to be over thrown, she also discussed this with me so I had no internal conflicts with a new women entering my life. This was 23 years ago I am still close with them both, any major discussing about life were left to my mom and dad, my step mom was always there for me and never stepped across that barrier but we are very close and I love her very much.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Of course that's wrong and very disgusting. She's obviously jealous and she wants to hurt her ex by using her child as a weapon. They should take her child in foster care, that will not end well with a mother like this.

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  • well this woman is a bitch, and that's why it's called baby mama drama.

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  • She is jealous. Jealousy makes you nasty. What more can I say. Its wrong, but I understand it.

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  • If it really went down just like that of course it is wrong. People usually put being vindictive above a child's best interest.

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  • Very wrong to teach someone to hate.

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  • LOL

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  • Wrong, very...

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What Girls Said 5

  • of course that is bad,there is no way that could be seen as a good thing. but,she's human,humans are stoopid emotional little f***ers that are very much affected by feelings of envy and the fear of being replaced.

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  • Well if the child already has a mother there's no need for the kid to call the girlfriend 'mom'. She shouldn't be taken his or her mothers spot. But the child shouldn't have been told to be mean to the gf.

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  • I think it is wrong and extremely immature of the mother to tell her child these things.

    My older sons dad and I split when my son was not even 2 yet. Soon after, he found a girlfriend. Of course I was a little bitter about it at first bet NEVER did I push my opinions of her on my son.

    Without me saying, my son has always known I'm his only mom, but still loves his dads girlfriend because she has been around and there for him. (My younger son is not 8 and a half) Essentially that woman needs to grow up. She's just mad because he's found genuine happiness with one lady when she hasn't found it in the many men.

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  • This is no bueno what's so ever.

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  • Of course it's wrong

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