I have a cousin who has two kids out of wed lock,with
a girl he use to date. I think they may have dated in
high school, because they had there first kid when they
were 19. Anyway, there relationship was always horrible.
They would fight, yell, break up,get back together, move in
together,then one would kick the other out. Needless to
say that was a pattern that continued for a long while.
Their oldest who is 13 now, witnessed most of these events
and by the time they had their youngest (who is now 5),
they were nearing the end of their relationship.
They've been broken up for a while now and it didn't take
her long to find a guy (actually,many guys.) Let's just
say, she gets around (if you catch my drift). She actually
dating a guy who's 23 and she's in her late 30's. Anyway,
my cousin he hasn't really dated anyone since her. But, he's
now been dating the same women for little over a year. She
also has a child, a son who's 10. So, that's a good thing. They
never fight and she cooks,cleans and cares for the kids. They're
getting pretty serious and she may be moving in with him.
Now, to the point of my question. So, his ex told their 5yr old
"You can't call her mommy, you can't say you love her, even
if she says it to you and you can't be nice to her." Obviously,
the 5yr old told my cousins girlfriend that and she said "
I understand,but I still love you". Do you think that was wrong
of his ex to say that to their son? I most certainly do! Because,
though they have a verbal a agreement that she has custody
of the kids, they actually live with him. And, she only sees
them when it's convenient for her. His kids love this women that
he's seeing, they even run to her instead of there mother when
they need something (which speaks volume's).
Anyhoo, do you think what she did was wrong? And, wouldn't
most women be happy that there ex is dating someone who
loves her kids and is a mother herself? I'm just curious.
Most Helpful Girl
Well I definitely think that it is wrong to do, I would guess she is just feeling threatened, if she already doesn't have custody of her children and there is a new women coming into the picture she may feel like she is being replaced, that her children will like her more and have a replacement mommy as she is forgotten. While it was most definitely wrong, it's probably just out of fear. I can tell you my parents divorced when I was two years old, not to long after my dad met someone else ( they had joint custody) and two years later when she went to move in with my dad ( her and her 2 children both older) and the first thing she did was talk to my mom, she told her that she never has a plan to try and take over her role as a mother, and she will make sure to care for me and look after me as one of her own but never take the role as mother, she would remain "her name" and a added member of the family. This helped to shoe the realization that my mother was never to be over thrown, she also discussed this with me so I had no internal conflicts with a new women entering my life. This was 23 years ago I am still close with them both, any major discussing about life were left to my mom and dad, my step mom was always there for me and never stepped across that barrier but we are very close and I love her very much.2