Do guys always act this immature? Am I overreacting?

I have to vent a bit because I might blow up at my boyfriend otherwise. I would really appreciate the advice! (Note: My boyfriend and I do not live together)

My boyfriend goes to these regular car meets every Wed night which last from 11pm to 2/3am. Last week, however, he spent Wed evening with me, he went to the car meet for one hour and came back so we could cuddle before bed together.

This Wed I felt he should go for the whole car meet since he wasn't able to last week, so even though we were supposed to hang out, I encouraged him to go to he meet instead. He said he would do the same thing he did last week ... spend a few hours with me, go to the meet for an hour and come back by midnight so we could go to bed together. I was totally OK with this.

Now, he ends up coming to my house late due to a flat tire (I can't blame him for this) and we spend 2 hours together before he drives to the car meet which is about 10 min from my house. He says he will be back by midnight. I fall asleep, wake up at 12:30 and he is not back, so I called to make sure he was OK. He said there was a problem ... apparently he parked his car at the meet 10 min from my house and then his cousins wanted to go to the races, which normally meet very close to my house as well. So my boyfriend agreed to ride with them because he figured he could be dropped back at his car since the races were equally close by. However, his cousins ended up driving to a race location 30 minutes away! He kept saying he was sorry, that he should not have gone in the first place and that he had no idea they were going to take him to the races so far away. He apologized, he said he knew he messed up, and there was nothing he could do about it. His cousins were not about to drive back 30 min to drop him off at his car, and then drive themselves back to the races. So he would have to wait until his cousins were done at the races and willing to drop him back.

Honestly, I don't care much that he ended up staying for the whole thing. What I do care about is WHY he didn't call me, why I had to call him to find out. When I asked, he said he was afraid I would yell at him (and in fact, I didn't yell at all - I was disappointed). What I also don't get is when my boyfriend realized his cousins were driving off in a different direction that was not the normal location of the races, why didn't my boyfriend ask them to turn around right then and there?

Part of me feels like while it may not have been his fault, at the same time he wanted to go to the races so he just let it go and didn't ask his cousins to turn around and knew he would face the consequences with me. But I don't know because last week he came back prompty within an hour so it might be a legit mistake. I know I am pretty pissed at his immaturity and for not informing me ... so I might accuse him of this when we discuss it. Is that OK to do?

Also -- he was feeling so bad he said when his cousins dropped him back at his car he was just going to go home, not come back to my place. I told hi
(CONTINUED) I told him it was fine, if he wanted to come back he could, but I would be asleep. I told him I was disappointed in him and I did not want him around but I also know money is tight, so for him to drive back home at 3am for 45 min is not the best option. I would rather him drive 10mins and sleep soundly in my bed. Anyways, he ended up coming back at 3:30am it looks like. I was asleep, and I left this morning without saying bye. I need time to process.

Do you think I am overreacting?


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What Guys Said 2

  • i think he should have called. it seems there is a pattern of lack of comunication on his part and only dealign with things after the fact

    • yea, he should have called, I told him that too and he agreed. he said he was afraid to tell me. I do tend to pounce, so maybe he didn't feel comfortable telling me. but for something like this he should have. should I just let it go? or should I bring it up and discuss it with him? he knows I am upset right now. sometimes I feel like I shd just live in the present and look for the future.

  • What's the big deal? Your boyfriends is afraid that you won't let him have fun with his friends. He might have had this problem in the past (in my experience, it's pretty common) and he's assuming you won't take it well for him to return home at 3 a.m.

    Tell him he can return whenever he wants but, if he says he will return soon but decides to stay after all, you'd appreciate if he calls you.

    Seriously, A LOT of girls will freak out if their boyfriends go out until 3 a.m., I'm sure he's assuming you will too.


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