I'm not sure his motives

My boyfriend dumped me nearly a year ago and I took it pretty hard. I cut contact about six or seven months ago and he's been with the same girl for about six months now.

Anyway, I felt like sending him a message recently just sort of apologizing for being so upset and just about the break up in general. I don't know, I wanted to let go of some of that poison in my head, ya know? Well, he replies back almost instantly and apologizes, too. And then he mentions how he wants to keep in touch and suggests we even meet for coffee. Later he went onto my art blog and liked a picture of the new tattoo that I designed and got - he hasn't liked anything that I have posted in about a year.

I guess I'm just a little confused. I get apologizing, but he "fell out of love" with me and even has a girlfriend now. Clearly she has zero say in him keeping contact with me, even meeting me. I'm just confused by his wanting me around and taking an interest in me.

We were together for almost two years, by far his longest relationship. I have dated around a bit and mentally I'm beyond where I was, even when I first met him. But overall I have stayed single to work on myself, which I thought would be healthy.

Maybe he just wants to be "friends" or something, but why make such an effort when you have a new girlfriend strung around your waist, ya know? No girlfriend wants her boy hanging with his ex, ever. So I have to wonder if maybe he might miss me, even just a little.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There could be a whole slew of things he's thinking, like man I really screwed that one up and they wish they were back with that one.

    Tough to tell with this guy. He could be in for a booty call or he could be unhappy in his current relationship, my guess is he is not happy and rekindled a coffe with you to see if you could still be interested in him.

    His liking your tattoo is a way of saying " I'm sorry for being such an ass before and see I am really a nice guy"

    Guys cheat when they are unhappy, unwanted, or unappreciated. They rarely cheat because some chick is just "hotter".

    I would ask him how happy he is in his current relationship. My guess is she is not treating him well. If he says fine or he's happy (which I doubt) then I have no idea what the hell the guy wants.

    I think his motives are to gauge your interest and go from there. If you are interested he will want to dump current girlfriend and most likely go back to you.



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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like h e misses you a LOT! Just because he has a girl friend doesn't mean he's forgotten about two whole years of life together.

    Hopefully his girl friend understands that, and he isn't hiding you from her.

    I doubt he just wants to be 'friends'. He wants to relive the relationship; quite possibly things aren't going well with the new girl, especially if he is always missing you.

  • Possibly, not enough to message you.

    Also sounds shady to want to meet up instantly, also if he wanted to cheat or something I'm sure he would have no issue doing the same thing to you. Sending messages after a year seem like a VERY bad idea, let it die and move on.


What Girls Said 2

  • By what your saying, it sounds like he just wants to be friends. Sure no girl wants their man to be friends with their ex but it doesn't sound he has a strong interest in you just cause he liked on your art blog. He is probably being nice to you because he felt sorry about hurting you after he broke up with u. Tel him how you feel about the situation and maybe he will understand.

  • There is no way of knowing what his motives are. But I think what's really important is what are your intentions now? You said you only wanted to let go of the poison you didn't really intend to rekindle a friendship - did you? If he does only want to be friends and that's something your interested then I guess that's OK - but it would mean having to be on friendly terms with his current girl friend as well.

    If he does want more then are you willing to be the 'other woman'? If he's going to cheat on her then do you really want to be involved in that - or if he is intending to break up with his girlfriend - do you want him back?


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