My girlfriend wants to wait a year to continue our relationship, Help?

A little back story: I met her online roughly at the end of last year (November 2012) when she was with her abusive ex-boyfriend, (Lets just say he 'did' things and was pushing her around, bullying her in a sense) I helped her from time to time when needed at that time. skip ahead to February 2013 she dumped him and we started talking more to when we started dating in May, as of writing this it's been 3 happy months together up until lately..

With it now a year on from what he did she's still left scared, sad and overall worried. she's always had the odd moodswing along with depression issues and I have always been there to help her always. But here is where it gets interesting, she tells me she needs a month to try heal up and move on from what happened which has now turned into (At least as she says) 10 months leading onto summer next year, she's currently under counseling and not allowed to see me from what her parents say, (They're generally nice people just wanting to help her, not wanting to drive us apart or hurt her) But skip on a week or so she tells me she's hanging out with a old guy friend to catchup, This wouldn't really be much of a problem to me but they had a past, they did go to school together but he stopped talking to her because she got pushed into a relationship with another kid, then said he did so only because of jealousy. Her parents know and trust them going out to town together, but not me and her. (It may sound unfair, but from what they know I've only known her a few months, I've known her for around 6-7 months.)

But this does feel quite confusing, If she wanted to 'heal' as so for say she would want me to help, but it feels like she's not wanting me to at all. But why? Why this long? I love her more than anything in the world, but this does seem like she's neglecting how much she knows I want to help her. hmm..

We also used to Skype/ call quite frequently, both of which stopped when the news broke.

All opinions are welcome.


Most Helpful Girl

  • NEVER save the damsel in distress, they can only help themselves. Real abused women are ashamed and hide it. They don't go running to some other guy, that's the cry for attention. EVERY guy falls for this crap and I don't get it.

    I would even bet that she's got some story about you being mean, abusive, whatever that she is now crying to this new guy about.

    Anyway, forget her she's breaking up with you but doesn't want to deal with all the emotional chit chat that goes with a break up. Easier to play the victim some more and say she needs to "heal". Where are you getting all this information about what her parents think, if it's from her then take it with a grain of salt?

    Sorry I think this girl is a compulsive liar that manipulates people. YOU ARE VERY LUCKY SHE IS GONE! Go find a woman that has all of her marbles, can stand on her own 2 feet without a man and doesn't use you.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Men and women can't e friends.

    Don't try to fix people. You can't.

    And she is not as interested as you'd like her to be.

  • You have to wait one year?! No, thank you. If it is meant to be, it will, but you cannot wait around for her. So much can happen in one year, you can't sit around moping everyday, waiting for her.


What Guys Said 1

  • This is very strange. Where did the ten month time frame come from? Was this her idea or her therapist's? It makes no sense to me. How is a complete separation from you meant to help her heal? I'm also concerned by the idea that she's not allowed to see you. She has no say in this arrangement?

    I'm not sure what to tell you. It might help if she explain what this all means. But it sounds like she isn't allowed to talk to you at all? It is as if you were being punished for what the ex did.