Most Helpful Girl
One word: Convenience.
A guy could do all the motions: Hold open doors, say the right things, take you out to dinner. But in the end he may not truly have any feelings for you at all.
I have learned this lesson the hard way, by being with someone like this.
Now, I think in this situation that you are in, the guy loves his crazy ex girlfriend. This may not make any sense to you, because like you, I have also been in situations where the ex was certifiably crazy. She may have cheated on him, treated him like crap, been a terrible girlfriend or broke his heart. But this guy may still be head over heels for her. And nothing awesome you do will change his mind.
He likes you, but sounds to me like he doesn't want to give up what he has with this girl.
IMO, stop being the second choice. You should be the first choice. Don't hang back and hope that he chooses you. Get out there and find a guy who is going to make you his first choice.
Too bad, so sad if this guy comes crawling back to you saying his ex broke his heart but that he now wants you. Sorry, but you deserve to be someone's first choice.
It's probably more convenient for him to stay with this crazy ex because he has a history with her. It's also easier than officially breaking up with her (which is the cowardly option).
He needs to break up with her if he isn't happy. But unfortunately that's not what he is choosing to do. You need to walk away from this situation, and get out fast!
Don't allow yourself to be an option. You deserve better than that!
Let him know that you respect the fact that he and his ex have unresolved issues.
My only question is, if he truly loved her, why did he decide to start looking for someone new?
Regardless, I say tell him that you respect the fact that there are issues that need resolving with his ex. But that you are not going to wait around. If he isn't going to either break up with her or end things with you, that you are going to walk away. Don't hang around and hope he picks you!