When is it time to move on? Even if you're still in love with him.

My boyfriend & I moved in together too soon, after 6 months we began to fight too much. During a fight he compared me to his ex girlfriend which made me very mad. I ended up putting all his things outside on the front porch . This angered him, but I felt totally justified at the time. Since I threw him out during a fit of passion, I immediately regretted it but he said he was done. As time passed we slowly began talking again and my feelings hadn't changed which I expressed to him honestly, including remorse for my behavior. He had since moved to a town 3 hours away to stay at the family ranch & said he would be back by the end of this summer. We slowly began seeing each other again & mutually worked on issues that we knew would hinder us from having a healthy relationship. Now things are great and I thought we had come to a new point of closeness having been able to work out our differences and forgive. I'm more in love than ever.

This is what I cannot understand... I've been asking continually when he'll be coming back to the city (from the ranch where he lives now), only to receive "I don't know." It's now obviously the end of the summer. . He's been coming to visit me every 2 weeks but I'm not interested is this kind of arrangement and miss him very much. He seems perfectly content, however. He goes back and forth from including me in perspective future plans to completely leaving me out of them. I'm no longer happy being treated this way when he knows that it's driving me bananas. I'm only interested in living in this small city if he comes back, because having him here makes it bearable. Being single in this city is unbearable and I would prefer to leave it should he not return. I've told him this and that I didn't mean to pressure him but I'd like to know where he stands so I can make some decisions. I'm also hurt that he would prefer to live in another town when he could come back at any time to be with me. When he talks about the near future, it's with him there and not me. He plans to go back to school fall 2014 and shares with me that he may go out of state to do so. He asked me once very causally if I want to move to one of these places but usually his plans seem to be completely independent. Am I blinded by love and getting totally mixed messages or is he done with me? Why won't he be honest with me either way so I can have some peace? I have no interest in dating anyone else and have made that clear to him. Is he stringing me along to have his cake and eat it too? Is he a good guy that's indecisive, a serial non-commit-er or a jerk? I really don't want to be a fool in this situation. I know the best move is to leave and let him come to me if it's meant to be, but if we break up I'm going to move to a bigger city and live life to the fullest which wouldn't give him an opportunity to come back, so I'd be walking away. I'm completely torn... What should I do? He's the man I want to marry.


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  • 1) there's no future between you

    2) you have major differences in lifestyle or beliefs

    3) you can't stand being with each other

    AND

    you DON'T have kids

    =time to leave

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