How many times would you allow your husband to 'cheat'?

How many free passes would you give your husband to sleep with other women?

I'd probably give 2 free passes at the most, because I believe it's impossible for men to remain faithful in the long run. So, as opposed to vows being broken, I would allow him 2 times. It's not cheating if the other partner is aware and giving 'permission.'

It's best to take a realistic approach

How about you?

Updates:
And guys, what about your wives?


By the way, this isn't a bash women/bash men question. it's just my outlook on things. I just think men aren't biologically programmed to want a longtime, monogamous relationship. No hatred or bitterness towards men. Just my perspective.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • None. If he wants to be with other women, we don't have to be married; and I don't need to waste my time. The only men that cheat are men who aren't mature enough for a relationship, or those who are in a relationship that is falling apart due to both or one partner not communicating the way they need to. Some people really shouldn't be married to one another precisely because they can't communicate or aren't willing to work with one another.

    I'll be honest my view of being married myself has changed drastically. I don't feel like guys my age are capable of love or commitment that's required for marriage. So I honestly go into dating someone expecting absolutely nothing, if they show that they really care THEN I start showing more affection. however, I don't expect a marriage kind of commitment until I am in my 40s. Most of the players will be played out by then (since their looks will be fading).

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    • Your last part is how I feel! You can't have expectations from guys of our generation(assuming you're in my age range)

    • I'm 21 :) but yeah, I haven't given up on love, but going into dating someone I don't get my hopes up for anything. One day a guy could be crazy for you, but then next week it's all, "I met someone else.." Or, "I don't care about you the way I thought I did."

      But girls my age aren't any better either, so it's just a vicious cycle.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Once and it has to be strictly physical cheating. Twice shows me a pattern and emotional cheating is the worst thing a woman can do to a man in my opinion. As soon as she falls for someone other than me she might as well call her lawyers and hopefully ended it amicably

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  • Zero. Cero. Zip. None. Nada.

    I don't want any free passes and I sure as hell wouldn't give one. If we are married to each other, it is because we are COMMITTED to each other, for life. If I didn't want to have sex with this woman for the rest of my life, I wouldn't have married her in the first place.

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  • Yikes... I don't stand for anybody cheating. I admit that men do have a biological imperative to spread their seed but we aren't mindless animals. We are human beings who can reason so I would never sacrifice the love and commitment I have with someone for a temporary fling or moment of pleasure. It just seems so unreasonable to me and I wouldn't want it done to me.

    Then again this is coming from a guy who doesn't crave sex all that much to begin with. I also think the conflict that would arise from cheating especially if kids are involved is too selfish and troublesome to deal with.

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  • Zero, I would never consider marrying someone who I didn't think would be 100% committed to me and our future children. I know that loyal men exist.

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  • I wouldn't give her any free passes

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  • My wife would get 0 free passes, think about she said yes to the engagement, and yes to the marriage, meaning that she would be faithful, you know the whole point of marriage. If she didn't want that then that's her fault she should have never agreed to an engagement or marriage.

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    • How many passes would you like her to give you, then?

    • 0 my chick is smoking hot I would never cheat on her.

  • I would let my husband have 2 free passes, but only because I would be distracted by the fact that I have a husband.

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  • It depends on what the opitimie of the relationship is. If it is sex what sustains you and holds you together than at some point you're going to get bored when that is all there is to the relationship. Footballers often marry the most "banging" girls, yet after a year or so of being married and they figure out they're dumb as f*** and can't hold a conversation they end up getting divorced. So no I would not cheat or allow cheating at all, if we're not compatible before sex than we won't be able to be compatible with it

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  • Well, women aren't programmed to want a monogamous relationship either. They're programmed to get into a long-term relationship with a guy who can provide and would take care of her and the kids and to then cheat on him with more of an alpha-male type when she's most likely to get pregnant.

    I wouldn't give any free passes to that. No desire to waste my time and energy raising someone else's kids.

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    • Uhh, right. Sure. I'm guessing someone watches a lot of Maury? lulz

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    • I don't want to be one of those guys! Think of all the money I'd have to spend on trucker hats and wifebeaters.

    • But we all know there's just a bunch of alpha guys running around, right? women are just jumping on them left and right

  • I do not tolerate a woman cheating even once. It is not a mistake. It is the conscious decision to betray your partner. Your comment on it being impossible for a man to remain faithful is sexist, and false.

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    • It's not sexist...

      it's biology and reality. Men are made to spread their seed. At least if I allow it to happen then nothing is being kept from me and nothing is being broken. He's free to have some fun once or twice in the marriage.

      men don't associate sex with love and respect. it's just different

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    • On average the difference in cheating between men and women are within 1% of each other. Culture plays a bigger role than biology when it comes to cheating. If you say it is just male nature, and then accuse a woman of being a whore, and slut for doing the same thing, she will be less likely to cheat do to social pressure, not biology.

    • I don't believe women are meant to spread a seed or to be seeded(if that makes sense). Women want monogamy but cannot expect it. Likewise, women should respect that men do not desire monogamy and cannot adapt to be monogamous

What Girls Said 5

  • Probably twice. Once because it could have very well been a mistake (and if they were upfront about it, if they were remorseful, etc.), and twice because people can make a mistake, but anything more than that, I don't think I would be okay with. But, I know if I would really care. I mean, I'd be the one they would come home to, so, eh.

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  • Allow him to cheat? Whaaaaa! Where do you people get these ideas from, once a cheater always a cheater. I'd dump his sorry ass right away.

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    • A marriage isn't as easy as 'dumping'

      There's more to it

    • I still wouldn't live with a cheater. And if it's for the kids, I'd rather them live without one than with a dad who happens to a deceiving liar.

    • Mmm, I have a different perspective due to personal experiences, but to each their own

  • Zero tolerance.

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  • not one single time! He's out!

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  • I would never allow him to cheat.

    That may seem old-fashioned, rigid, or unrealistic to some people, but if he makes a commitment to me, I expect him to fulfill it. If he expects free passes, we won't work out, haha!

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    • Old fashioned beliefs on marriage would be nice if guys had them...but most don't. In the end, it's better to be realistic than heart broken.

    • I'd rather be single than have to settle for a cheating man.

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