How would you feel if your ex contacted you?

how would you feel if your ex contacted you a couple months after the breakup? if you were the dumper, would you be annoyed, amused, happy, angry, etc? would your opinion change if they realized what went wrong in the relationship and are genuinely interested in improving?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If I was the dumper, I would be... curious to hear from my ex. I would not be annoyed... after a few months, it would actually be good to hear from him.

    I know with myself (and lots of other people too), a part of me always regrets my breakups... I miss the person and wish I could see them. After a few months, I would definitely embrace the chance to see them again and see if I made the right choice, or if my feelings are rekindled (sometimes they are).

    *****However, none of this applies if we ended on bad terms. If he cheated on me or something, I DON'T want to see him again unless he is giving me an apology. And then that would be our last meeting ever.****


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Initially I would have been glad...but as time went by I would not feel the same way as I would have moved on.

    My ex tried to contact me 5 months after the break up..I was the dumped by him. My reaction..I ignored him..thought not opening that wound again. I'm glad I did it is nearly 7 months later and I have moved on emotionally for the better.

    Sometimes some relationships are not meant to be. Live and Learn...

  • I was the dumper and I would be annoyed. I dumped him for a reason and he's bound to repeat it.

    • It's weird. When you're in a relationship with someone, you obviously care about them. When the relationship ends under whatever circumstances, are you supposed to just disappear from each others' lives? If he was genuinely willing to work on the problems, would you still be annoyed?

    • I would still be annoyed. Many relationships repeated the same mistake even after one of them was willing to change. It's nonsense. He would revert back to his old behavior within a month

  • For me, it depends on the reason my ex contacted me again. If he wanted to just check in on my life and see how I was doing, then I would welcome the chatter. If he wanted to get back together, then I would be slightly annoyed because I have moved on and have had time to do some retrospection on our relationship. But if he showed that he knew what went wrong before between us, then I would grow more friendly with him.

    A few weeks ago, my ex messaged me out of the blue after we broke up. He began the conversation in a suggestive way that basically asked if I was still up for some sex with him. I was shocked and angry at the way he seemed to casually whisk away all the months and not have any sense of what went wrong in the relationship in the first place.

  • My heart would skip a beat

  • I would be surprised and a bit curious of his intention but then I would leave it that way though


What Guys Said 3

  • I would question what caused the primary reason for the initiated contact. Reasons for the break-up are not always true so I never question the infinite possible reasons (one reason hides a multitude).

    What I would question is, what is the reason to reply? Why contact now? Is it a moral reason of moving on and conquering their supposed past? Is their intention actually friendship or a false pretense of friendship? What is their needed goal? Can I truly trust this person anymore? What internal social issue or conflict caused them to contact me randomly?

    Psychologically, contact depends solely on the internal strife and goal of the person: virtue, utility or pleasure as Aristotle said about friendship (this can be applied to past relationships as well). Fundamentally, those elongated questions I listed if I was the receiver is what I would think. Technically, I would list their contact as a categorical imperative as using for virtue (goodness sake which is rare), utility (what do they need to use me for), or pleasure (sexual, social, feeling like a friend, partying).

    I hope this helps.

    -Nicholas Halden

    • I like how you incorporated philosophy into your answer. I think that many people re initiate contact to test the waters, however I also feel that many of those people probably reach the point where they realize they have nothing to lose. It's almost as if they decide, "hey if there is no chance, you were an important person to me and I still want to be a part of your life"

  • that she needs a someone to play dad

  • I think it would depend on the manner in which we broke up. If it was peaceful I think I'd be happy to hear from her again because I would love to still be friends if that was an option. If she wanted something more it would entirely depend on why we broke up. If it was something like her jealousy then that means she is incredibly insecure. I'd have to notice that she has a stronger sense of self worth. If we just naturally grew apart due to wanting different things out of life I don't think I'd give her another chance. I would never want someone to change what they desire because of me. I guess it would depend on the reason. It's hard to answer because there are so many variables.

    If I broke up with her and a few months went by I don't think I would still want her in that way simply because I would have moved on. I would never break up with someone unless I absolutely knew that we couldn't fix the relationship. Sometimes two people are too different to be compatible and the desire just slowly dies or you realize it may not have existed in the first place.

    • sad to hear, but I think sometimes it takes a breakup to realize the mistakes that were made. Obviously you speak from experience but at least you are open to being friends

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