How to break up with someone nicely?

I have this boyfriend who I would like to break up with and I would like to be able to do it on friendly terms.

I have tried to talk to him about it before but he just keeps telling me we can work out our issues. He doesn't seem to see that I don't see a future with him. He is going through some personal issues currently so I don't feel I can just do it at the moment. As I feel he has enough on his plate. I talk to him everyday just normal stuff, how are you what you doing ...but I feel like I am leading him on, don't want to do the 'no contact' thing as I would not like someone doing that to me. I would like to end it with him understanding it just was not meant to be. We are not compatible.

Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd tell him over a coffee meeting that, as YOU HAVE TOLD HIM before, you don't see the relationship going anywhere. and you'd like to start just being casual friends. Tell him you don't want an argument, and tell him you won't see him for X days or weeks so that you both can adjust to the change in your situation.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Just be brutally honest. There's no easy way to be dumped. It'll hurt regardless. An honest, straightforward break up will be good. You don't need to explain yourself or get all emotional with him. Tell him. What you want. It'll be easier on both of yoy

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  • Exactly what you said. And don't delay the breakup just because he has other things going on, it's going to suck for him, but will suck worse for both of you to keep a relationship going.

    Just be polite, never be condescendign to him and you got it.

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  • If you are absolutely certain to want to break up, then break up.

    There never is a good moment to do such things.

    And concerning the "no contact" thing, you should do it once broken up. At least for a few months.

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  • i you just have to be blunt and to the point. tell him you just don't see a future. no ifs, ands or buts about it

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  • Tell him everything you wrote here...he's gonna be hurt no matter HOW you breakup with him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't. A ''nice'' breakup isn't any less of a breakup. Trying to make it ''extra better to handle'' IMO can be WORSE than actually breaking up in a clean way. My ex preferred treating me poorly for a month to make me realize he wasn't as into me anymore, so I wouldn't be surprised when he ended things a month later. He also thought I'd take it better if he initiated a one week break to ''think about us'', which I already felt was a bullsh*t line at the time. Turns out he was so preoccupied about ''breaking up nicely'' and ''not hurting my feelings'' that he didn't have the guts to break up with me before the break. He thinks it feels better to rip the band-aid slowly than in one shot. I'm not sure I agreed, how could I have known that, but what I know for sure is that his ''nice breakup'' made me feel all over the place, sad and depressed for way longer than necessarily. I wish he would have saved me the time and trouble of worrying and wondering about the relationship for such a long time.

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    • Yes well I think he suspects something as he is now not talking to me. He doesn't text everyday like he use to and just is getting on with his life.

      Which is good, because then I will just tell him we have drifted apart and need to go our own ways..no hard feelings no drama. I have been nice and kept in contact but no I need to cut the link between us as it is not meant to be.

    • Yeeaah I think it's a classical ''break up'' move on your part. It's okay, but please don't make the breakup linger once you actually tell him it's not working anymore. Nobody likes to be kept on the hook by an ex!

  • I would let him know where you're at in your life and that you're not ready for a relationship right now or that you just want to be single for a while and enjoy the single life. I don't know how he would feel about remaining just friends or if he could even handle that but I say you should let him know regardless or where he's at in his personal life. after all relationships change and sometimes end and that's just apart of life. take care and good luck to you on this.

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