Would you tell one of your parents that the other one is/was cheating?

Short version: My mom's had cancer for two and a half years. It's gotten worse. She goes to chemo every week. My dad's been cheating for years upon years and think nobody has a clue (apparently nobody does except me, even though it's BLATANTLY obvious -- and I've seen pictures I wish I could un-see).

In this situation, do I tell her the truth, or not tell her about it? I've contemplated it since before she ever even got the cancer.

Would you tell a parent that the other one was cheating (forget my whole story, it was just to add to the question)?

  • Of course. I'd want to know.
    Vote A
  • Absolutely not. None of my business.
    Vote B
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44

Most Helpful Girl

  • Normally, yes I would.

    In your case, I'm genuinely not sure.

    It's possible she already knows, I've noticed that a lot of time people think the spouse doesn't know, they really do.

    But in case she doesn't, it could destroy her, and battling cancer, she really needs all the strength she can get.

    You just have to weigh the pros and cons.

    I always feel that people should know the truth.

    But the truth will hurt her, and she's already dealing with a lot as it is.

    I probably wouldn't told before it got to this point, honestly.

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What Girls Said 3

  • In this case, I would give him hell. I wouldn't want to tell my mom because she wouldn't need any added weight on her shoulders, but I would definitively find a way to get revenge on my dad. I'd do everything I can to make him feel bad about himself.

    In the cheating scenario, without any illness, I'd really think about it. I would probably threaten the cheating one. Ask him/her to stop everything or I'd tell the other one. I would try to make him/her feel ashamed. I'd tell him/her how this is a deception, how I am disgusted to have such a parent. If nothing worked, I'd probably tell the other one.

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    • The thing about this is that I'm already "using" my dad to pay for all of my college courses. If I go off on him, I'd be on my own.

    • Hum, that is indeed a tricky situation... What about telling the other woman that he is not single ? We don't know what she's aware of, perhaps she'd leave him.

    • It's not just one woman. Or maybe it's a main one that he cheats on as well. But I don't know who she is exactly, I just feel it's mostly the same person, because it's the same awful smelling perfume.

  • I would most likely confront my father. Your mother needs support and strength and you sound like you only want the best for her. I would most certainly tell your father to get his head out of his ass and be a man. Under normal circumstances I would tell my parent about the unfaithfulness of the other, but only after speaking with the cheating parent. I would want them to know I was there for them. In this case I would want her to have as much support as possible, perhaps I would even consult a the physician on a clients mental state and treatment. Then speak to my father, and try to get my mother the highest amount of support. Just me though.

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  • I'd confront whoever is/was cheating and figure out what's going on. It would be hard to tell the other person what's happening, but if the person cheating won't, then I might. Especially if it's an ongoing thing. The other person deserves to know, and on a more selfish note, I couldn't keep that to myself and not feel like I'm betraying them in some way. I have a close bond with both of them. My parents have a good relationship though, so it would be kind of unbelievable to me.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think you are ready to let this go, so approach your dad first, and see what he has to say.

    You really don't know. Maybe your mother knows. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe they haven't had sex in 10 years and she turns a blind eye and they stay together to raise a family because they get along okay.

    You can always talk to her second, you might as well find out more from him first, if you want to get involved.

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  • Confront your dad first. Because in this case if you went to your mom she might be so depressed that the cancer gets worse :\ sadly. State of mind does matter for diseases and such.

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  • I wouldn't tell considering your mom's health issues. She doesn't need that to deal with. I would confront your dad if I were you.

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  • personally, I'd beat the sh*t out of my step dad for cheating on my mom.

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