Why do I still message my ex? I have a new boyfriend.

Ok so I went out with my ex for one year... and then I met my current boyfriend. we clicked right away and I broke up with my ex to get to know him better. I know it was horrible to just dump my ex like that because he did nothing wrong...and I loved him like a best friend but that was the problem there was no passion...and I felt like his mother sometimes because he was so immature. but now 8 months later I can't stop thinking about him. I love my boyfriend but its like I'm afraid to let my ex completely go... I don't know what to do should I cease communcation with my ex or should I try to be his friend...idk why I care but I don't want him to fall in love with someone else. I know that's selfish.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow I wrote a long, detailed answer and for some reason it disappeared when I clicked preview answer. I feel so strongly about this question that I will attempt to list out the points in the essay I wrote on this topic.

    cliff notes:

    -You're messed up, you want to be free to do whatever you want but you don't want your ex to have the same freedom

    -You think about him because you think he might have matured/ worked on himself after the breakup...you don't want another girl to get the new, improved version of your ex

    -If your current relationship fails, you will regret breaking up with your ex, you know this to be true

    -There were no "real" problems in your last relationship such as cheating, fighting, etc.

    -Real love is about honesty, loyalty, commitment, trust, and many other things not just that "feeling of passion"

    -A relationship based on passion alone is comical- Feelings change everyday...you will be in and out of relationships the rest of your life if you rely on just that feeling of passion to determine if you are in love

    -Passion usually occurs in the honeymoon stages because things are new and exciting- eventually everything gets old and routine

    -At 8 months, the "passion" in your new relationship might be waning and you might realize you're not as compatible with your new boyfriend as you thought

    -Both parties can make a relationship work by breaking the norm once in a while to keep things interesting

    -You're messed up

    -Your ex was probably a good guy who treated you right and would have never done you dirty

    -WK ALERT: He was probably too nice/ too good to you and became your doormat, his value and your respect for him plummeted as a result

    -You topped it off by dumping him for some guy you met while in a relationship with him<--------I have choice words to call you for doing this, but will refrain from doing so

    -If you want to be with your current boyfriend, stop contacting your ex. You're not only stringing your ex along, but you're doing your current boyfriend dirty by doing so

    PLEASE NOTE: These are just my opinions. Some of the things I listed might not be true and could be completely wrong. They are just my view of things. It might seem harsh because I just listed everything, but it sounded much nicer when I wrote everything out in paragraphs.

    Most women in their mid to late 20's will say that it is hard to find a "good guy." The truth is that they probably had quite a few "good guys" in their younger days but ended up breaking their hearts. Typical reasons they give for doing so would be: I just needed to be single, I was too young to get so serious, I loved him but I wasn't in love with him, I needed to experience life, etc. etc When they realize that they are getting to that age where their friends are settling down and having kids then they angrily say that there are no good guys left for them.

    NEWS FLASH----- The "good guys" stay with the girls that stand by them and fight to make their relationship work.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • your so right its scary. I wish you were wrong but he fought so hard to get me back...and it just pushed me away further but now that he's over me I miss him I don't know if I want him back... but he was such a good guy... but yeah I was really messed up when I left him... I was in and out of the hospital trying to commit suicide.. I was cutting ...and I don't know its a long story. I love my new boyfriend but I just miss the sweet and kind heart of my ex and my best friend.

    • Show All
    • read the comments again, that's not what I said lol

    • oh never mind I'm a little sensitive this time of the month... lol

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  • Ah, yes, hoarding men. . .

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