Guys so you think it's over?

My ex and I broke up recently due to a detachment in the both of us really over miscommunication. For seven months things have been amazing. We never fought other than have these moments where we had to change how we said something. For instance I wanted to spend time with some friends, but since it was last minute when I was invited I was turned down by him to come with me because he said I was planning to attend and not include him. That's the type of arguments we would get in because I never said or did those things on purpose likes he thinks I did. He would say I was purposely trying to make him jealous or purposely trying to get a rise out of him which was far from the truth. I just don't think that way in general. Well I finally got tired of him constantly getting down on himself every time I said something and I called it quits. Well because I said I missed him he went off and said he isn't dealing with this type of behavior because all I want is for him to chase me and he just isn't falling for it. Another thing which isn't true. I told him that loving Someone doesn't just go away over night and I'm not too prideful to at least say I missed him and still loved him...something he just can't swallow his pride long enough to do. Then he said he cared for me a lot and I love you and he wants to be friends, but for me to not hold on to hope of us getting back together...something else I never said I wanted. I said hopefully one day we will be more again but we need this now. Anyways, everyone keeps telling me that we are so great together, even his friends, and nobody wants to see us apart. I know in my gut it isn't forever, but he said we never will get back together, but then asks how I am and why did I do this or that if I wanted to work on us. Do guys say they love you in one sentence and then in the next get mad and said its never gonna happen again and really mean it? I do want us to eventually get back together but not right now...He thinks I'm going to chase him and I want him to chase me, but neither of us are gonna do that. So since he said he wants us to be friends and our paths will cross, does anyone think its possible that we might get back together since it ended on really good terms?

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  • Sorry about all of this turmoil,but I will say this.

    We cannot put "GUYS" into this.We cannot categorize and generalize guys by saying it is something that THEY just DO.We can only talk abouut your boyfriend here,not the entire sex.There are certainly.guys I out there who DON'T act like your boyfriend.Now...

    #1.Your friends and others having an opinion of the relationship?...IRRELEVENT!

    Your friends and HIS friends are NOT in the relationship.They don't see or know entirely what happens behind closed doors.So their opinion is just that...an OPINION.

    #2.THINK about how YOU FEEL HAVING THIS RELATIONSHIP.

    I'm going to be honest.I only know of what you have written here about the relationship,so everything I am saying is me speculating really.But please consider the real reason you want this person back...I said,THE REAL REASON.What else exactly was he offering you that you liked him SO MUCH? Go back and think about how you felt in the relationship this entire time.Analyze everything VERY carefully...thoughts,emotions towards him,and why do you really wish to reconcile this broken relationship?

    #3.LOW SELF ESTEEM AND SELF SABOTAGE GETS YOU EVERYTIME...

    I'm referring to your boyfriend here. Girly,I think your boy has low self esteem.He has either been burned in the past,or fears getting burned in the future.That's the reason why he misinterprets your comments/behavior...LOW SELF ESTEEM.People with this frame of mind hind it for as long as they can (some can't),but it comes out every time.Their own insecurities consumes relationships and causes it to fall apart in the end.From reading what you have written,your relationship could have used some good old fashioned improvement in communication,but that's NOT entirely the problem here.Your boyfriend single handedly PROJECTED all of his insecurities on you,making it seem like you said or did something you really didn't...and then BLAMED YOU for it!

    #4.The Breakup.

    You broke things off because you were obviously tired of the arguments and blame...and him 'getting down on himself".You have seen for yourself how exhausting it can be trying to have a productive relationship with someone who is actively trying to ruin it. As I mentioned before...think about why you want this relationship.Don't speak out of lonliness or emotionalism.But logically sit and think,can you deal with him being broken like this?Would he be willing to get some therapy?Its takes TWO people to make a relationship work.If he isn't willing to put in the work,you will be right back at square one.

    #5.Conclusion.

    I cannot say whether you guys will reconnect.Guys like him have already formulated in their own mind what you will say and do...or what they think you hafe done.I have experienced a similiar situation and...well...its NOT up to you to change him.If he doesn't recognize a great gal in front of him,girl...you need to move on.Sorry,the probability of him chasing you is slim...although time will tell.For right now,things

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    • are what they are.It would be great in yout mind if he can chase you,but he takes things and changes what they mean in his own mind...so...who knows if he will be able to see what the actual problem was in your relationship that he would want to reconcile it.From what you said above...HE was the PROBLEM.Its clear that you like him,but think about what decision is BEST.All you can do at this point is wait.If I were you,I woud look into moving on for right now.Remember,you broke up for a reason.

    • Yea, we did break up for a reason and now we have seen that someone else was filling our heads with crap. When we should have come together and talked about it, he became distant and started pushing me away all while believing lies. I finally broke down the NC barrier and told him I was sorry I let that happen and that I wanted to try and fix it. He told me no and that was that. Still says he wants to be friends, but that's just a stupid idea because I don't believe he ever cared if he can't forgive

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