Did I screw up by putting my foot down with my ex?

My ex and I have been talking for a while, and we were getting pretty close again, talking frequently and hanging out about once a week. The subject of our relationship came up in conversation recently because he wanted to apologize for the things he did to ruin it, and I expressed that it made me sad he didn't want to try again now that we were both making many improvements in ourselves. His initial response was because he didn't love me anymore, and then he went to wanting me to happy and healthy. I didn't respond to that, and he follows up a bit later with a comment about how we could then see what we were and where we were going (I'm assuming when I'm "happy and healthy"). I didn't answer that either. About forty five minutes later, he texts AGAIN asking if we could meet up to talk things out over lunch. Two hours after that, I told him I'd think about it. An hour after that, he sends me a Facebook chat reiterating the line about wanting me to be happy and healthy, and I told him it was a nice thought, but I didn't think he really understood what that even means.

I feel incredibly guilty because I feel like I was being mean, but I was very hurt by what he said and felt almost belittled that he'd immediately turn it around to all these messages that pretty much amounted to, 'No, baby, please don't go.' Especially after he said the things he said. I do still want to reconcile with him, but I'm annoyed at his behavior after we were really starting to mend a lot of things and rebuild our relationship from the ground up. I guess it's good to light a little fire under there to make myself not so easy to win over, but I worry that I was too harsh on him. I know he's been snooping online on what I've been up to almost all day, so I guess he's still interested in what I'm doing, but I'm not sure if I should just leave him alone and wait, or maybe accept his offer to talk over lunch? I don't know what else he'd have to say, honestly...

Guys in particular, what do you think I should do? And is he running game with me or is he just trying to be careful as he feels things out with me? His words and actions really don't match up, and as you can see, even within this one conversation, he seems to have contradicted his lack of feelings for me. Also, if he was trying to feel it out, was it harsh of me to shut him down like that? I can promise you the way I spoke to him was the polar opposite of how I usually talk to him, even when I'm upset.

I just... I want to fix it, I want to be good and nice and friendly and positive, but I also don't want to just let him do things at his own convenience either :T
He sent me more messages the other day, which I took my time with responding to. I hope that wasn't a mistake. He started by complimenting my art, and then went on to say that I should never doubt that he misses me. I simply said OK, then that I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. He answered that it was hard, so manythings are left unsaid. I didn't answer because I don't know what to say again. I just answered a FB message he also sent that I had faith in him. But I don't know if I'm helping things.


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 1

  • Give it some time

    Maybe you're not ready to be in friendly terms yet


Recommended myTakes