Why do we forget the reasons we broke up with someone?

I'm just curious as I have recently been through a break up. Why a few months down the line we start to really miss that person and can't seem to remember the reason we broke up with them in the first place?

All I can remember is the comfort and nice things of the relationship, but am having trouble remembering the bad parts (of which there were many). Otherwise I wouldn't have ended it. But all I feel is guilt and regret for breaking up, even though I know if we got back together that I would not be happy.

Why do we do this psychologically to ourselves? Why do we forget the bad things?

What do you think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Breaking up is your transition to bigger and better things, so you need to realize that whenever you split from someone, its because your needs are now maturing and you now need something better than what you had, remaining where you were would lead you into an unhappy relationship and cause you to waste many years wondering what ifs, but the reason you forget is because your second guessing your worth, so ask yourself, are you worthy of better, or was he the best you can get? x

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What Guys Said 4

  • That's a part of that weird thing called love.

    You miss the guy, as he was your guy, and so you would be enchanted if all this stuff hadn't happened.

    I know the feeling as well, it's not just a female trait. It usually happens when the overal mood is a bit low.

    But you have to move on, one way or another.

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  • Have you moved on ? its over and that's it. Accept it as it's over ,process it in, deal with it ,and move on. Why bother to think of reasons why it ended , it's pointless to over think it all, you will meet someone else and life goes on.

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  • Jam66, the same thing happened to me after being single for 5 years. Mostly all I remember from way back then is GOOD memories. We don't remember the worst experiences we had, unless severely traumatic... we just tend to remember the really good times we had with that special person. It helps us grow, and helps us prepare to be better for a new relationship. We learn from it. I'm not sure why we just remember that mostly. But, that's a good thing. That's what I've noticed anyway.

    There was a good reason you broke up, an incompatibility, so I'd be careful about missing and wanting to get back together that quickly.

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  • I remember

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What Girls Said 1

  • We forget bad things (unless they're really traumatic) because it's the healthy thing to do. If we keep remembering every single bad thing that has ever happened, it will definitely prevent us from moving on. In my opinion, humans are mostly positive creatures. We like having fun and remembering fun things. Bad things? Not so much.

    Also, I think you just miss being with someone right now. You miss experiencing the good things that your previous relationship had to offer. I think you're simply misinterpreting the scenario. You might think you feel guilt and regret, but in reality it's probably just you feeling a bit lonely.

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