Guys I need your advice on the "nc" rule.

Ok guys...If my ex believes that I am going to chase and beg him back, because sadly I did it before, and this time I'm not...will the no contact rule really make him start wondering what I am doing because we ended our relationship on great terms and still have lots of mutual friends...all of which are devastated by our break. He said we will be friends but since I wanted this he isn't coming back. He believes I want him to chase me, but really I do need my space and do want this break up. He also believes that I'm only breaking up with him to get a reaction out of him which also isn't true. Almost like he isn't taking me seriously. I do miss him, but the break was recent so that's to be expected.
Thanks. I don't know what I want and he knows that. That's why he is playing these games with me because he knows I'm so unsure. It was mentally abusing and I believe that is why I'm having such a hard time accepting it since I know how he can manipulate a situation. He found a way to still control me even after our break by saying he loves me and cares but when he saw I still wanted the space and to see where we are down the road he took that as he still can have his cake and eat it too.
I also found out he got on a dating site but shocker he told people that knew it would get back around to me. My friends, guys, believe it is to get the reaction from me I never gave to him from the get go. I'm not budging. In fact he has made me hate him because I know he is doing this to intentionally try and hurt me. So all I can do is close the chapter and deal with the pain. Focus on me alone because men bottle their emotions. Ill be better inside way before he will.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound strong enough to get through this, and obviously wise enough to know when a guy is worthy of you, which this guy obviously is not, so keep doing what your doing, because he will realize that he has lost a gem in you, and eventually try and get you back, but by then, you will have the control to get exactly what you want in a man,x

    • Thanks! I appreciate that. Everyone keeps telling me that he will try again because of the "I want to be your friend" comment. When he saw I was serious then he started saying he was done for good and blah blah. He makes these things up in his head like I'm purposely trying to sabotage him and that just isn't me. We were honestly so great together and his friends all told him he would never find anyone better or more perfect for him. We are both very outdoorsy which is something he never had in a gf

    • I don't think your struggle to find what you want in a man, but him, I think he needs that little bit more maturity to be able to keep the woman he wants if he's going to get anywhere in a relationship. Good luck in getting what you desire,x

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you don't want him back, why do you care what he is wondering about you?

    Space is temporary. Break ups are permanent.

    You don't sound like you know what you really want.


What Girls Said 3

  • All I can say is do your own thing and don't let him think you're asking for a reaction. Let him see you do your stuff and not thinking about him. Like one of the guy who just posted a comment stated that you're not sure what you want and I think its true. Focus on what you want. Don't make this as a test.

  • If you need a break and your space, then you wouldn't feel the need to chase after him in the first place. He said he will never come back so your best bet is to take his word on it and move on. Stick to your word.

  • He sounds like a narcissist. I highly recommend that you do some research online about narcissism, devalue and discard, and narcissistic supply.

    I spent 4 years chasing and begging until I finally had had enough. I don't miss him anymore. I don't miss the drama, the manipulation, the head games, or the verbal/emotional abuse.

    It isn't about whether or not NC will make him wondering what you are doing...NC is about helping YOU move on by recognizing that he is a loser and you deserve better.

    NC is about helping you out of the fog and into the light.

    Best of luck to you.


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