How do I get over a break up?

I know it isn't long but I had been dating this girl for 6 months and she broke up with me a day after the 6 month mark of us being together. I had bought her roses to celebrate the day...

At the start she was so into me, told me she never wanted to lose me, begged me even, to never leave her. It seemed great as this was my first relationship I had been in and I loved the attention and affection I got from her. About a month ago, she started showing less, complained I didn't make enough of an effort when I did. Then says I smother her...she used to smother me all the time in the beginning but I didn't have a problem.

She broke up over text because she has no balls. It was so sudden and took me by surprise. It's been a week now, I've done my fair share of crying but now I just feel empty and want to just move on.

I've spoke to her sister and she has truthfully said she hasn't found anyone else, she just wants to be alone. If she comes running back in a few months I won't be there for her.

So anyone who has gone through a break up, how do you cope? It's the worst feeling in the world.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • she sounds a bit fickle. like will dive into something head first and then backs out.

    as for you I think it's a good plan like you said just to move on and close the book on this girl. it may be tough but just realize that you are young and will meet new people. take the experiences you learned here and apply them going forward. find distractions from the girl (things to do, hobbies, social activities, etc). lean on your friends and family to remind you that oyu can be happy single. and I think that is a big part of young life is learning that life can be good single. you're free, independent, etc so the next relationship you find you'll appreciate that bond that can be built between two independent people.

    but mostly just know it does take a bit of time to get over any relationship. honestly the girl sounds fickle so it's seems better that the relationship ended before things got anymore serious.

    good luck!

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    • Love this answer! I don't understand why things turned sour though, was it because I started to become less of a challenge than I was at the start or some other reason?

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    • One of the reasons she said she wanted to split is to focus on work. What person throws away a relationship for work? Everybody works but you don't see us all giving up relationships for it. Like you said, she is fickle and I''m starting to see that now.

    • yeah work was just an excuse. I mean focusing on work is important but it doesn't mean you can't have a relationship...otherwise no one would work

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What Girls Said 2

  • I bet you ten to one that she still likes you a lot, actually even more - But she wants to be the one to be 'courted', to be 'sought after' this time. She looked back and thought, "Whoa, he made me almost beg for him, what a desperada I was! I made all the efforts and he understood 'it' just now? He should do the real 'begging' for me this time." Boy, if you still want her, shed off all that pride, run after her, court her like your granddad did your grandmom, be very open, tell her you want her back, shower her with attention she never had from you before, look desperate if you have to - Really boy, if you really like her and still want her, let her know that. She put her guard off for you before, begging you not to leave her, it's your turn to do so - Do this before the current space gets wider between you two. Well you know, if I'm wrong, at least we both know she really wanted quitts ;) But give back the same intensity of 'love' she poured out to you in the beginning, if you see that twinkle in her eye and that faint smile - You got her back boy!

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  • Aww I feel your pain. I lost my boyfriend in May, was emotionally abused. Was the worst/best/craziest relationship I know I would ever experience. Thought I would never get over it. Honeslty all it takes is time. Nothing else can help, no words of comfort, no sudden rushed into new relationship. Just time. Yeah you can pass the time by finding things to keep you busy to pain the pain go away.

    Just think there will be other people out there. If she does come back I wouldn't take her back, she already hurt you once, don't let her do it again.

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    • What are the chances she will come back? Have you tried to contact your ex or has he tried with you?

    • I have never gone back and contacted my exes. However both of my exes did come back to me. Honestly you just have to act like you don't care. Don't contact her. If she wants to talk then make sure you talk to her. Don't jump in right away and ask for a relationship immediately, just give it time and see were it goes. She might confess she misses you too.

      My ex called it off after 3 1/2 years for another girl who he got engaged with within 3 months of knowing her.

What Guys Said 3

  • Understand that this is a big part of your life that has been taken away from you, and it sucks. So it's probably going to hurt for awhile yes and the first thing I would do is just let it hurt.

    The second thing is that everyone goes through this, its pretty normal. But I would look back and see what went wrong with the relationship. Was she the right girl or was it maybe something you did? Whatever your conclusion, remember that for next time when she comes back because it sounds like she will eventually.

    Third and most importantly, focus on other things. Keep your mind busy, don't have to much time to sit around and do nothing because that's when its going to be worse.

    Remember, everyone goes through this so don't feel like you're alone.

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    • What makes you say that she will come back eventually and that this is only a temporary thing? I'm not just some toy she can throw away and pick up again when she feels like it.

  • some relationships just don't work out I've found this out the hard way and been through some similar experiences over the years and recently went through something similar . I guess things get better eventually and we meet other people . I know deep down even though I miss the girl who rejected the idea of being my girlfriend , there is someone out there who would make me a lot happier than her I just have to find her

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  • Well, around 90% of people simply give too much of a f***, don't give a f*** basically. You're an attractive guy just find anther girlfriend and learn from the mistakes you made in that relationship.

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