My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend, do I give him a second chance?

So my boyfriend and I are at different colleges, about 7 hours apart. We decided to stay together after high school since neither of us wanted things to end. We have been together about 9 months and have said I love you, blah blah blah. Things were going real well and just recently I got a text from him saying that his ex girlfriend (the girl before me whom he dated for about two years, on and off) visited him over the weekend and they had hooked up (as in having sex) I was shocked and devastated. I don't think he was going to tell me at first but he said the guilt and regret was killing him. I truly believe he is sorry and that he won't do it again and I have always been a firm believer in second chances. Do I give him a second chance? I truly love him and he has been a staple in my life and I can't picture life without him. So do I end things, continue the relationship, or take a break and see where it goes from there? Any and all advice would be extremely helpful right now as I can't even think straight anymore.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that he told you the truth on something that big shows that he does love you. I believe that he is genuinely sorry. If you love him, stay with him but do not let him go unpunished for what he did. Show him that this is his last chance and that it will take a LONG time until he can earn your trust. Don't yell at him and do not bicker at him, show that you are there for him and that you are genuinely disappointed. I do not think you should take a break, I think you guys should get away and go somewhere away from your home to sort things out. Embrace each other and make sure he buys you two dozen roses that fact that you gave him a 2nd chance. It is worth it. If he ever does it again or he shows one ounce of flirtation to his ex, leave him immediately and don't discuss anything with him.

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What Guys Said 6

  • He is weak. He is not loyal to you which is a sign of weakness. He purposely told you about the cheating, knowing it would hurt you. On these two matters alone, he did not care about you he cares about himself. He does not want to feel guilty, poor him. He wants to blame it on an ex who traveled up for the sole purpose of a romantic weekend together. Did he ex travel 7 hours for the weekend? If she did you know she was going to get some.

    He is away at college and you know the biggest turn on for a woman is a guy with a girlfriend in a different city and school.

    He possibly only told you because you were going to hear about it from someone else. You say that you love him and guys don't have to love a girlfriend, there just needs to be one person in love. If he loved you he would not have had sex with her and if he did he never should have told you.

    Any way you put it you have a man who has no moral turpitude and will betray you the next time it becomes available. There will be a next time. Now you define how you are treated. Do you stay with a man with no character or are you worth more?

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  • The fact that he told you immediately after is a good sign of his remorse. He didn't keep it secret for months and told you later after the guilt ate him up, nor did you hear about it it discover this from another source besides him.

    I would forgive him.

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  • Give him a secend chance the last one, it was a big mistake from his side, but it's good he told u, because if you found out later yourself it would have ben much worse

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  • Never result into instant second chances, make him realize that he has damaged something that was great, make him realize how much he misses you, because although you also will be hurting, if you do not make him realize the hurt, then he WILL do it again, you for you need to realize or notice his reactions to being dumped for cheating, because if he fails to make every effort possible to make it up to you, then he wasn't sorry at all and he WILL do it again, so be strong, make him pay for his betrayal, because if you don't, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN,X

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  • We're all only human, people make mistakes. I am one to give second chances, or at least try my best to do so. As you said he did come clean, and yet he betrayed you at a pretty deep level. If you believe he won't ever do that again or you could stand him doing it to you a second time and be smart enough to let him go at that point I'd say give him a second chance, but ONLY if you can trust it was a one time thing. Only you know if he can still be trusted and kept from repeating that mistake and even if he considers it a mistake at all.

    Ultimately it is up to you to decide if he is worth the risk and potentially greater and more devastating hurt down the road or he will truly repent from this wrong he has done you.

    The most important thing I could suggest on the matter would be to carefully consider it, then pray as to what to do and listen/look for the coming answer.

    I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide, best wishes and GOD Bless.

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  • You do not give him a 2nd chance.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should take a break. Even if he regrets it he still did it and he deserves to face some kind of punishment so you know he will never do it again. Cheating is not a mistake. You don't just trip and fall into a girls vagina. He wanted to do it at the time. And why wouldn't he tell you his ex girlfriend was visiting? I think he was planning to have sex with her without you knowing but his conscience got the best of him. You should really break things off. Let him pay at least a little for his mistakes. What if he decides to do it again? You never know maybe next time he won't feel so guilty about it..

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