I don't know how to get the strength to break up with my boyfriend?

my boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3 months now. it seems like he cares a lot about me, but there are some things that make me hesitate about continuing on in our relationship.

1. he hasn't said "i love you" yet, and it doesn't seem like he will for a while

2. he hasn't mentioned much about his family or meeting them

3. he is too busy to go to big events that are coming up in my life.

when I say big events, I mean there have been 4 opportunities for him to go to an event with me, the most important of which is a black tie gala. he said he couldn't make any of them, but if I wanted to bring another guy to the gala (who isn't an ex bf) then that was completely fine with him. is it just me or does that seem weird?

lately he's been distant. he runs a decent sized company and I understand that work is a priority but at the same time he used to put me first but for the past two weeks we've barely seen each other and our daily texts/nightly calls have turned into maybe a couple of shallow texts a day and that's it.

i feel like he's going to break up with me, and I'm not happy in the relationship. I know he gets frustrated if I say I'm not happy because he probably feels like he's doing everything he can. I want to break up with him but I'm scared to because I'm worried that I won't find another guy.

he truly is a good guy, we share a lot of common beliefs (with the exception of religion) and when we are together he treats me well. the thing is he barely takes me on dates and when I bring that up he gets upset.

i know this sounds silly but I'm 24 and I've never broken up with a guy before...i always wait it out thinking maybe the guy is "the one" or it's just a rough patch and they end up breaking up with me. right now I can't handle being broken up with by him.

the one ex I still talk to said it sounds like our relationship is "going nowhere" but I'm not sure if he's biased because the other night he said how much he misses me etc and then blamed it on being drunk.

Please help...


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. It's been three months, most guys would think that's still way too soon to say 'I love you'.

    2. Maybe he isn't big into family, or maybe he doesn't see you meeting them as a big deal, I introduce a girl to my parents often on the first day, I don't see it as a landmark in a relationship.

    3. It'd be different if he was ditching it for his friends or something, work is very time consuming.

    I'd not really take just an exs opinion of it, believe me if a girl I dated asked about her current boyfriend I'd probably be a bit devious and talk him down... Out of jealousy or defensiveness, for the record I don't believe any of my exs would think I still have any feelings left towards them, but I do still feel jealousy and some attachment.

    • you're right, but he's really big into family and on our second date he mentioned how he doesn't bring girls home to his parents because to him its a big deal. when I bring up how I haven't met his parents yet (he's met mine) he just kinda blows it off.

      but what are your thoughts on him saying he would be totally OK if I brought another guy to the gala? if I were in his shoes I definitely wouldn't want him to bring another girl to a gala I couldn't make...it just doesn't seem right

    • Show All
    • thank you so much for your help it means a ton :)

    • No problem.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Like most other people, you'll stick around because you can't think of the best way to break it off, and then you'll meet someone else you're interested in who's also interested in you, and then you WILL break it off (probably badly, lying to him about why) because you're eager to pursue your new thing, and then he'll sit around wondering what the f*** happened and how the hell you moved on so damn fast.

    • That was a little unfair of me. Allow me to further address things you've said.

      1. When I'm able to fall in love with a girl, I know it pretty much within the first few dates. One time did I stay in a relationship that I knew probably wasn't going anywhere, but I was thinking that it was just me not being over a previous relationship. It wasn't.

      2. If I'm really into a girl, she's meeting my friends and family. If I'm not, she's not.

    • 3. I will MAKE time for things that are important to someone I'm interested in. If I'm not interested, I don't bother.

      4. I sure as HELL am not going to suggest that someone I'm interested in go do something with someone else.

      I'm inclined to agree with your ex (even though your ex is likely biased). It doesn't sound like this is going anywhere. End it.

  • It's been only 3 months. Just tell him that you don't feel that the relationship is working for you, wish him well and be on with your life.


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