Could this guy be waiting on me, and only after sex?

Met a guy online by accident conversing as friends. He later asked for phone number and began talking on the phone. After 3rd phone call started to develop into this deep attraction. He mentioned being married when we were talking as friends, but kind of forgot about it, since he never talked about her. Something wasn't adding up right that he even had a wife. He said she traveled almost every day of the year, and the little she was there they didn't do anything together. Thought that was odd. It was almost becoming unbelievable to me, but maybe he was married. Anyway, the attraction became almost soul mate like connection, either of us could stay away. He kept commenting on how strong it was, and how it was going to transcend into something more. About a week ago he called me at 2 a.m. which was normal, and in the midst of our conversation, heard what seemed a screeching noise in the background. The phone immediately went silent, and he came back on, and bluntly said wife was home early from vacation, and could he call me back. He called back and said he got rid of her, that she was gone out of the house. I said, I couldn't carry on because of her, he then said they were talking about separating, and he saw a whole lot of future with us. He asked if we could just be friends, and that maybe we were just a little too close. I did not want to be friends, but thought perhaps the ball was in his court when and if he decided to leave his wife. He said, okay and I have his number if I changed my mind. It's been over a week, and I have not heard from him. Would this type of behavior display he really didn't want the relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is pretty complicated with his wife in the picture. I don't think you should assume that his actions and decisions are entirely about you with no regard for his wife. Whatever else one can say about that relationship, they haven't left each other so there must be something keeping them together. If he doesn't leave her for you, this is not to say that he wouldn't want the relationship if he were single. The question may be whether he is willing to do what's needed to sever his emotional ties with his wife. That may be a much bigger task for him than you would think given what he's said.

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    • Thanks. That sounds about right. Regardless, I know he's married, but he said hadn't had feelings for her since January. What kind of emotional bond could they have? What do you think I should do?

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    • I don't think he likes you as much as you like him. He seems to be able to turn it on and off. I agree that if someone liked you as much as he claimed to he wouldn't be able to stay away from you!

    • I don't know because I don't know him that well! I will say, when we had an argument in the past, he couldn't go very long without talking to me! One time he said that pull is just too difficult to deny, and he couldn't take it anymore. On the other hand, he's known to have a pattern with not talking to me when we argue! One time he went three weeks, but that was probably the longest! I noticed he says "giving it space" a lot. I don't need space, I need to talk about it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Have you met him any time? I feel you are still don't fully understand this person and until you completely understand him you shouldn't waste your valuable time thinking so much about him.

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    • Pardon me for doing this, Aaryan, but I need a word with angelsofheaven.

      angelsofheaven, I just noticed you tend to repost your questions over and over again. Stop that. Once is enough, and what you're doing is a rule-breaker. If you want to get more responses, redeem your Xper points link and ask the administrators to feature your questions.

      Oh, and in case you're the kind to block me because you think it will stop me from deleting your posts, think again.

What Girls Said 4

  • You and I both know the answer. Its is just sex. It doesn't get any simpler than that. If feelings were that strong, he would have been talking to you the next day. His feelings wouldn't have changed about separation to just friends. Feelings like that can't be ignored for a week.

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  • Well, this is just a guess but to me it sounds like he was ready to have an affair with you and now maybe he's trying to work things out with the wife but doesn't want to admit that's the case, hence the changing stories. Or there could just be something totally weird going on with him that he's hiding. In either case his behavior is bizarre and suspicious so I'd steer clear of him.

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  • You really don't know? Listen to your instincts...they should be telling you he's enjoying the rush of this secret relationship, but he's married. Don't think that after years with you, he wouldn't be on the phone looking for a new thrill when you pull up in the driveway.

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  • He's not going to leave her.

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