Starting a contact after quite long time. Advice?

Some details before, even if this question is helping me to just move on. It started out fast, like real fast, I lived far away from her and it skyrocketed - on like 4th day I went to her place then stayed there for a week, then went home for a day and picked up my stuff, moved in with her. literally everything happened in that week and so forth till she ended it. after 3 months of living together, no arguing, we both met each others parents and stuff, got along with most of our friends. Reason of breakup - her best friend apparently thought that I'm taking all her time and started to talk bad of me, that I'm way too clingy. Well they started to toy with that, once I was stressed from work and family, they said for 4 nights in a row that they will go out on a car ride for hours - I was like... but when will you be back and stuff. I know clingy! I was seeking out emotional security from her. Then we had a talk(for seconds literally), she came in the room where I slept and said - I want you to leave now, no reasons given, no opportunity to talk given. That was it, then she left, after few minutes her ''village machos'' walked in and started to ''help'' me pack(just stood till I had left). I stayed in near by town as I had a new well paying job etc. Each time she saw me after(in the supermarket or on street), by her mother who called me to tell, I got the information that she went straight home and said I followed her, that I stalked her, I ran after her car and that she is scared and that continued like 5 months after the break-up. Even though each time we met, I did not say a word, inside I cried but kept my happy face and walked on. In that time I think after one month she had a new boyfriend, who she is with even today, although again, rumors get to me and she is not happy at all, that new guy has not visited her like really few times in like last 3 months. I tried to call at start in first month, to get some insight why and what can I do, I was hung up. Minutes after that rejection I sent her a message saying that I am hurt, disappointed yet thankful and glad I finally have my life. Even though after the break-up I had no place to live and the day after I had to go to new work first day there. It was all harsh on me but I kept fighting for my happiness. I kept contacting her monthly with 30-40 days gaps. On first months they were I am sorry that I was clingy and I love her letters, then on like 4th month I tried different approach by just popping up where I knew she was - nothing, no feedback, no hello she was hiding herself and then talking made up stories afterward, which got to me weeks later. She tried once to reach to me after 5 months from breakup, it was a call from hidden number which my phone company still showed on history as a number. She did not speak a word and hung up in seconds. From all this text I myself read out that she might be hurt over something, that she might regret everything. I want to make a contact and be sure but...
I don't have the guts, after being rejected for those 5-6 times I tried to contact I just don't feel I should, that it'll only make things worse. I still go to sleep with thoughts of her, even though I have several new girl friends who I try to get a hold on, by flirting and symbolic gifts. I should be dreaming and think about them not my ex.. That's why I think I am still not over that's why I think I still love her. That's why I wan't to reach out, but I have no idea how.
to sum this up I find that I had a moment of weakness. I know nothing would have come from this. the reason I even thought about it was that I felt sad for my brother and wanted some confort. she knew how to make me happy and iguess I wanted that. now I went to worm on free day and I feel much better. I hope this can be taken as lesson. I don't need to call ex I just wanted things to be like they used to for a day. that won't happen I have to be happy on my own and distract myself of ba thought :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • The way that she's treated you says 'leave me alone'. If she wanted contact there would be contact because you've been at it for months. I'd say you are behaving 'clingy'.

    • Thank you, I guess my first sentence is right. I need to let go and move on, I was clingy and I'm acting clingy again. I must pull back and let her live. I get it. I don't talk much and I don't have many friends in this new area it's way too far from my home so I just am not emotionally stable. This pulls my head straight again. You have been most helpful, I am happy that someone responded and still think I just needed this text out of my system without saying a word to her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Leave it alone, move on.


What Guys Said 1

  • My brother, forget this dumb hoe. You are hurt but be strong and LET HER GO. There is better women out there!


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