Boyfriend lied to me and we broke up, should we work it out?

I was with my boyfriend for almost two years and everything was amazing in the beginning.

His ex tried to kiss him when we first got together so I asked him not to speak to her any more. He agreed not to because she had been spreading rumors anyway. I was out one night with him and he left to go home, his ex came up to me and told me that he had been texting her, I asked her to show me and sure enough he had. He basically said that 'house hunting with me was boring.'.

& I confronted him about it and he said he was just trying to keep her happy. Obviously I said you should be keeping me happy and completely forbid him to speak to her. He tried to speak to her on nights out when I was there and I obviously got very angry at him.

He has since lied to me about not going out when he has and texting girls on occasion.

The most recent lie is one that made us break up. There is a particular girl who he used to like a lot when he was younger, they were friends when we first got together and she lives far away so they don't see each other. However, she told him that he should change his Facebook password and put a pin on his phone so they can talk without me seeing because he was complaining about me looking at his things.

After this we broke up and got back together and he told me his passwords. She text him saying that 'this song remind me of you xx' and I was obviously mad because on Facebook she seems like a girl that likes attention from boys.

He used to talk to her whenever he was drunk, he would ring her and talk for a long time and he would leave me to go do this.

He told me he hadn't spoken to her in a long time, months even and I believed him. However I checked his Facebook and saw that he has been talking to her for months.

There were conversations about me being out working and how he had 'freedom lol' (he says this was a joke)...however he then went on to say how I don't like him talking to girls and she stated how she let her boyfriend do whatever he wanted even though he had almost cheated on her.

There was also a message from her saying something like 'Hey, got your text I didn't want to text back because I don't know if it is safe.'

Obviously I told him I knew he'd been talking to this girl as he walked in the room and he denied it until I pointed to the screen in front of me, then he went into defensive mode and starting telling me off for looking at his Facebook.

I'm obviously angry at him for lying and we're been broken up for over a week now. I have seen him in that time and he took me to the cinema and treated me really nicely. We basically lived together for two years and he wants to get back with me but I'm not 100% sure I can ever trust him again and have told him as much.

Please could I have advice? I don't know if I was being too clingy or possessive or jealous or what...

He has been honest with me about a night out he's had since and promised me he won't lie to me again. He said he didn't expect us to break up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is pretty clear. He lied to you MULTIPLE times. You didn't do anything wrong. Forget him and move on. If you can't have 100% trust you can't have a real relationship. Find someone who deserves you.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Well don't look into it too much. If you told him you didn't like it, he knew it. And yet he didn't stop at all. It wasn't one text/mail every once in a while to get some news, it was often.

    So he's not trustable. That's all you need to know. Find someone who has no contact whatsoever with his exes the next time, most guys are like that.

  • I don't see him changing. Unless you want to go through this over and over, cut your losses and move on.

  • Probably not, based on his track record and the way he's behaving now, I think you should just walk away, for your best interests.


What Girls Said 1

  • I would just move on


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