I was a little open than I usually would be at the start as we got on so well and had a different connection that we'd both never experienced different to any other one. We got close so fast like we knew each other forever. He expressed strong feelings for me and was more open I wasn't as I don't like to express my feelings too quickly. He was also more affectionate but I became more affectionate with him too. I guess towards the end of the month I was starting to really trust so was expressing my feelings more. In the heat of the moment I texted him saying I loved him he didn't speak to me much that day but replied back to another text but I'd gotten confused and mixed up and made a mistake. The next day he broke up with me saying we moved to fast and stuff like that and he said I love you to me after 2/3 weeks about 8 times to me in a text. I just trusted him so much because of how many times he told me he'd never leave me and expressed his feelings so much so I didn't expect it.
I was afraid of getting hurt before I got with him but I decided to take a chance as I have been hurt other times but he seemed different. I believed everything he said to me the more he said it.
Now I just feel I don't want a relationship that doesn't mean I want hook ups as I don't that either. I have been on a couple dates since us breaking up but that makes me just compare them to him and miss him more . I don't know maybe because I'm still hoping in the back of my mind that we'll get back together but I've moved for the most part but he's still in my mind occasionally. I just want to be friends with people and not worry about any relationship and focus on myself and other things in life I keep thinking maybe me opening up was a bad thing and that it was my fault that we ended. I feel like I just want to be friends with people and I don't care about relationships as I don't want to get hurt and don't really want to be dealing with them or I feel like I'll be constantly thinking this could end anytime soon. Just for the time being not forever.