Is it a bad thing to want to avoid relationships ?

My ex broke up with me about a month we got close very quickly it was a very intense and fast moving relationship we lasted about a month or 5 weeks. It ended just as quick as it started .

I was a little open than I usually would be at the start as we got on so well and had a different connection that we'd both never experienced different to any other one. We got close so fast like we knew each other forever. He expressed strong feelings for me and was more open I wasn't as I don't like to express my feelings too quickly. He was also more affectionate but I became more affectionate with him too. I guess towards the end of the month I was starting to really trust so was expressing my feelings more. In the heat of the moment I texted him saying I loved him he didn't speak to me much that day but replied back to another text but I'd gotten confused and mixed up and made a mistake. The next day he broke up with me saying we moved to fast and stuff like that and he said I love you to me after 2/3 weeks about 8 times to me in a text. I just trusted him so much because of how many times he told me he'd never leave me and expressed his feelings so much so I didn't expect it.

I was afraid of getting hurt before I got with him but I decided to take a chance as I have been hurt other times but he seemed different. I believed everything he said to me the more he said it.

Now I just feel I don't want a relationship that doesn't mean I want hook ups as I don't that either. I have been on a couple dates since us breaking up but that makes me just compare them to him and miss him more . I don't know maybe because I'm still hoping in the back of my mind that we'll get back together but I've moved for the most part but he's still in my mind occasionally. I just want to be friends with people and not worry about any relationship and focus on myself and other things in life I keep thinking maybe me opening up was a bad thing and that it was my fault that we ended. I feel like I just want to be friends with people and I don't care about relationships as I don't want to get hurt and don't really want to be dealing with them or I feel like I'll be constantly thinking this could end anytime soon. Just for the time being not forever.

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  • Ugh, this sounds exactly what happened to me, and how you feel is how I feel right now too. I think it's perfectly healthy and normal. I think this is your heart's way of saying "I've been hurt too much and need some time to heal". Be yourself, explore your interests and live a fulfilled life. Things will come to you in due time and you will be happy eventually.

    I was with a guy and we had an amazing connection. I've never felt so comfortable with a guy than I did with him. But he's going through some things right now and I have to accept that. So we are not talking and I am just doing my own thing. He did something that hurt me really bad and made my life a little harder, so I am just focussing on myself.

    But I find I am definitely missing him. All I want to do is listen to Led Zeppelin songs and sit in my room, with my door closed and just shut myself out from life. Being at work today I almost broke down and cried. I'm starting to feel like my heart is turning to stone and I just don't care anymore.

    I've developed this very apathetic view of things. Whatever people say or do can't hurt me anymore, because I just simply don't care. I've been hurt before and have just accepted it as part of life. Pain has become a staple in my life because I care too damn much about other people. I feel too deeply and that allows people to get inside and plays with the things that make me tick. Unfortunately people like to play mean, take advantage of me and my heart.

    I've even started to question whether I even want someone in my life ever. Because they all seem to hurt you anyway. But I'm okay with just being myself and being able to do what I want and experience things.

    I think you are going to be okay. Just do things you enjoy, take some time to find your inner peace. Find out what your passions are, really explore who you are as a person. You deserve to love yourself and invest time in yourself. :)

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    • Yeah it's so frustrating but I think the guy still has feelings for me that's what's annoying me the most we had more of a missunderstanding . I feel the same I've been listening to some Taylor Swift . I'm at a "I don't know what I want anymore" stage. I don't get too upset every time I think I've moved on I start to think about him again.

  • That's healthy and normal. Take your time

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