Then I go overseas for a couple months and he seems to change, he says he misses me, looks forwards to having me back and when I get back he says he's been thinking that we should try being together as a couple seeing as we've always danced around that anyway. We hook up and for a little while I'm feeling great and thinking 'fantastic, he's grown up a bit and realizes how good we are together'.
Then he goes silent for a couple weeks and today he says he's been thinking some more and has come to the conclusion that while he loves me he's not in love with me and thinks we've been friends for too long for that to change.
So now I don't know what to do. I feel like such an idiot for letting me get my hopes up and letting myself feel those other feelings after so long telling myself nothing would happen. How can I go back to that easy friendship we had?