Why would an ex want to talk about something when you've broken up for over a month ago?

She broke up with me about a month ago. Besides the reasons she told me she had. I had a feeling she was keeping something behind.

We've kept a little contact over the past few weeks and met up once where she kissed me out of the blue (seemed accidental). Everything she says however, pointed at her not wanting to get back together.

We had a (little bit) heated conversation on the phone a few days ago about our feelings.

Anyways, all of a sudden she wants to talk in person even though she said she doesn't have any romantic feelings for me but still cares about me. I'm willing to listen to what she has to say but I just think it's weird. I wanted her to have some space.
So we met up earlier. We walked to my house from school (we're in the same school) and visited a store she liked. Then we went to my house and had some lunch. We talked or actually she did most of the talking and I listened to what she had to say. I feel like she's told me everything what hurted her now and after that we had a lot of fun watching television. She put her head on my shoulder and I even gave her a massage lol.

She was very clear and said she wanted to be friends.
I told her I was happy we can be friends. But there was definitely some chemistry there so who knows what will happen in the future! :) She also told me she just wants some space from the relationship so basically I should keep my mouth shut about getting back together hehe.
I think that if I do things right and keep being nice to her she might wanna start dating again :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm...well, I'll be hoping for a happy ending but you said that she doesn't have any romantic feelings for you and that she was very clear about just wanting to be friends.

    In my experience as a female, when we say that to a guy there really is no hope, but maybe your situation will be different.

    Good luck. :)

    • Clear that she wants that now. She also said that she doesn't know if she wants to get back together in the future. Actually I should say try again, because we did say that if it's gonna happen it'll have to be a fresh start.

      What's clear to me is that there is a small chance that we might start fresh if I play my cards right. But I want to see how things go first. And either way, I'll end up with a good friend :)

    • Show All
    • Wow, it's really hard to say what is going on in her head right now but it sounds as if she truly enjoys your company, and that is a very good thing. :)

    • haha yeah I like it too :)

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What Girls Said 7

  • She's worried about you moving on before her. With this accidental kiss she bestowed on you, she's trying to keep in your mind, heated argument because she senses you looking for someone new... you know you don't even have to grace her with a talk, right? She broke up with *you*, sounds kinda like she's missing what she let go.

    • I'm not so sure about that. With moving on I meant that it ended like that. She knows I would take her back but she doesn't know if she wants to be together again because she has no trust in me not taking her for granted. Which was a misunderstanding. I started acting the way I did because she was never really open to me about things bothering her. Which really annoyed me.

      When the argument heated up I proposed that we cut all ties as a solution but then she wanted to talk all of a sudden.

    • I had already told her that was bothering me months ago and she said she wanted to trust me so I gave it more time. Then she decided to break up without really talking about the problems we were having before she made that decision. In the argument I told her that I didn't feel like she gave me a chance but that I do respect her decision if she feels that's for the best. But I don't agree.

    • To me, that she suddenly wants to talk in person when you suggested you guys cut all ties is just a way of her keeping you in the background - she doesn't want you to fully let go. She can't talk about the problems during a relationship, why does she need to talk about anything now? That's confusing and reeks of "Don't let go, I'm not done with you" to me.

  • She must be Pregnant :O ooonly joking lol

    Just hear her out, maybe she has some things she needs to get off her chest before moving on, or maybe she has lingering feelings for you and needs to know how you feel as well... Who knows really, I could put lots of suggestions why she would want to talk to you...

    Just hear what she has to say, is there really any harm to it?

    • No harm, I want to listen but she's never completely opened up to me. That's why I'm not sure if she's going to do so now. When I told her I wasn't sure if we could continue that way, I still gave her a chance (few months ago). She hasn't given me a chance to prove her that things aren't the way she seems. She just broke up.

    • Hmmm, well give her this one more chance to talk to you and if things don't go the way you'd hope, then I suggest you try to move on, maybe she'll have the courage to open up to you fully if she feels like your no longer waiting for her...

      Good luck and keep us updated! I hope she doesn't through anything too serious at you

    • The heated argument we had was actually about me wanting to move on. So maybe she wants to prevent me from stepping out of her life or something. Who knows? But I'll update after I've spoken to her.

  • It sounds as if she has at least one unresolved issue that she wants to settle with you, probably in order to give herself closure. Please keep us posted, I'm also curious.

    • That's probably it and I will!

  • Just wait to see what she got to say, sometimes you make up your mind thinking is something important, and then you just find out was an excuse to talk...ive been there.

    • I think I just want to listen to what she has to say, I'm very interested I how she feels about everything and I hope that for once, tommorow she can finally bring it to words. She's really never done so before.

  • Maybe she still likes you and wants to have some kind of contact with you.

    • She said she wanted to become friends be4 so we'll see!

  • obviously whatever girls say means the opposite she likes you!

  • Been there myself. I also didn't get it. Still don't. How can you care about someone you once loved, but still dump them? How can you share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with someone of the opposite sex, even enjoy physical contact, but still say you don't love them?

    If you find out, please post it, because I, also, would like to know what's going on in people's heads like this.

    • If I find out I will!

What Guys Said 2

  • it may just be some sort of closure thing. maybe she wants to explain that other reason because without explaining it she feels like she can't completely move forward. I think this is kind of normal in a break-up or at least not abnormal...trypically these things have to do with some sort of closure thing though

    • Okay, guess it would give me closure as well though.

  • Maybe she's pregnant...

    • Lol highly unlikely!

    • Haha then just meet up and find out

    • Yeah I'm wondering what's going on in her head. Thought we were done talking.

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