Why did my ex boyfriend never want to have photos with me?

Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up a while ago. I'm not bothered that we broke up anymore but there is some weird behavior that I would like answered about the relationship, during, during the break up and after, because it's just affected me and hurts me still. We were together for nearly a year and when we were together he never liked having pictures taken with me although there were quite a lot of him and his ex-girlfriends still on his Facebook. I tried to take a picture of us, when we were on the beach once and he refused to have one because he said he didn't look very good. After that I never tried again and was a bit upset that he didn't want to make any memories with me (I know it is shallow but still). All of his family kept asking why there weren't any pictures of us and so did my family, in fact my mother was annoyed that he didn't seem to want any of me but still had pics of his exes.

I asked him why there were no pictures of us and he just said oh yeah sorry, don't know why that has happened.

Eventually we broke up for many reasons, but I mentioned during that it hurt he never wanted pictures of us. He said that it wasn't me, because he found me ridiculously beautiful and that the reason was him. He said he hated the way he looked and hated having pictures taken. I believed him and said that's OK and glad he told me the real reason.

A month after breaking up, we didn't see each other at all or have much contact, and suddenly one day loads of pictures of him with his arm around a new girl appeared on my Facebook. Naturally I was distraught because I still loved him, but couldn't believe he had given me this bull sh*t excuse about hating the way he looks. To suddenly have pictures with a girl he barely knew?

So what I am asking is, what the hell is up with his behavior ? If he found me beautiful, why did he never want pictures with me? Or was he lying and just embarrassed of me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • RositaV is spot on!

    He knew the relationship wouldn't go anywhere.

    When I was with my first girlfriend I never introduced her to my parents ...she wanted me to though. Once she mentioned it while we were driving - and we were in my parent's car and they have their driving licenses there.

    That's the only time she got to see their faces.

    I actually though really, really loved her. It wasn't consiously that I didn't want her to meet my parents, after we broke up (me dumping her) I realized because it was in the back of my mind that she just wasn't the girl that I could see myself with for the rest of my life ...hopefully though I'll find that girl someday and hopefully she'll find her guy someday soon.

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    • Yeah you're right, sometimes its just hard to admit to yourself that they weren't right for you. Hope you find her soon. :)

    • Show All
    • Yes I was ready for a long term life commitment, and I explained to him before we started going out that I was looking for someone to settle down with, and he was in agreement. Throughout the whole relationship it sounded like he wanted to be with me, but near the end any time I brought up the future he would just avoid the subject, and say well lets just try having a holiday together first and then move on to the next step. I guess in his own way he was telling me that it was ending.

    • "I guess in his own way he was telling me that it was ending"

      Very probably, but not necessarily consiously. I remember my ex girlfriend would talk about getting married and having children; I didn't utter a word, not even a "Aha" or something. I just nodded my head and so on - I wasn't consiously aware though

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What Guys Said 1

  • there has been girls I was friends with but never had pictures taken with or such I don't know sometimes its just cause no one bothers to ask me to be in pictures with them or I never ask for pictures .

    but your situation is a bit different as it was during a relationship not just friends out partying . so it was a bit odd for him to do that . I'd honeslty just move on if he's already seeing other girls

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    • I know he never has pictures unless someone else is taking them, and these were taken by someone else. I also think there was an element of him trying to rub it in my face that he had a new girlfriend so quickly. Hurtful boy. Never mind.

What Girls Said 3

  • He never really liked you. I knew 2 guys that didn't want pics. one guy actually had a girl, and I was the side chick without knowing it. And the other guy wasn't serious about me, and didn't want pictures that would ward off other girls.

    Be glad you didn't waste any more of your time.

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  • I really believe he doesn't like the way he looks. Are the pictures youve seen of him taken by him? Or more like candid pics by friends? How masculine is he? I know that's an odd question, but it has relevance.

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    • Yes he is very effeminate (not sure that is spelt right), he was what I would call metrosexual. He would moisturise every morning and was really worried about getting wrinkles, more than me.

    • Sweetheart, I'm pretty certain "he" is trans and hasn't come to terms with it then. Everything you mentioned is exactly how I was before I accepted being trans and transitioned. That's how I knew he was not very masculine.

    • Aw thank you, I had my suspicions over it. He seemed a little too obsessed over his looks, even though I told him every day I thought he was really good looking, but he just didn't take any notice of it. Thank you for your comment. :)

  • Girl,.. I'm sorry this happened,... but straight up.. he didn't want photos of you because he knew you would post it online on "Facebook" .. and that was why. He was still seeing other women and that is a HUGE red flag for you next time. This happened to me too a few months back, so from now on,.. make a promise to yourself that if a man doesn't want photos taken with you to "show that he is in fact taken" THAN DUMP HIM. This is a dead give away. Sorry for the blunt answer but this makes me angry seeing this happened to you, because you don't deserve a jerk like that. No woman, no honest good woman who is truly good to him, deserves that at all.

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