What can I do to get over my ex?

It's been about a month. I keep thinking I'm over him as I can have times where I won't think about him and be focusing on things.

I just end up thinking about him at the times where I'm not busy doing something. I try to be busy as much as I can but still it's the times like going to sleep , waking up just going for a walk toward where I'm going when I can't stop thinking about him. I'm going through stages of wanting him back and then not wanting him back. I've been on dates but they made me miss him more.

What can I do? I do want him back it's been about 21 days no contact I will try after 30 days to do something it may or may not work just going to try. It's just driving me crazy because I know he already jumped into another relationship very quickly and we were in a very intense one and we didn't break up in a fight or anything . We were always happy. He had strong feelings for me it's just so confusing how he can get over me so quickly. And I know that I may not ever get him back it's just so hard trying to accept that. I just wish I never met the guy now I wouldn't be int his situation now if I hadn't met him. What can I do to get over my ex?
Updates:
He texted me last night at 4am saying "Wanna hookup ;)" I saw it this morning. I didn't reply.

I guess I know he's thinking of me not it the way I want. I reckon he was drunk when he texted that. His last seen is like 4.30am. Just why is he texting me if he has a girlfriend? I do like him but then I saw that hook up text I'm thinking "is that all you want with me" Is he just starting to miss me?
I'm so confused now even more I feel like I'm actually considering it but that's probably me just wanting him back. The situation is just so messed up now I'm thinking maybe I was only a hook up before. I don't even know what I want anymore. If I text him back I'm falling into his trap and even if I said no I feel he'd say something and I'd change my mind. I still wonder if he's missing me . I'm going to give myself time I'm not gonna text back possibly text him a another time something else,
I still think he has feelings for me I know it's not the best message but I am at the back of his mind if he's texting. Is there a chance of getting him back? or is he ready to talk to me now?

He's just confusing me it's driving me mad I don't know what to do.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just accept the feelings you still have for him and don't deny them. You don't have to give into them though. One of the things you have to accept is that your relationship with him is over and if you want a chance on getting him back you need to work on your own state of mind first.

    You can't continue an old relationship but it is possible (and not very likely) to start a new one with an ex. This can only happen if you really start fresh though. You don't have to have removed your feelings for him but you do need to have them under control and that's hard and takes time.

    His current relationship is probably a rebound and won't last too long (but it could). The best way for me to get over an ex has always been accepting things and allowing me to feel bad when I'm alone once a day. Besides that I usualy try that new hobby I've been thinking about for a while and meet up with friends and family more (better not to meet up with mutual friends too much).

    Well that's about everything I can think off. It just takes time and patience!

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    • I have accepted them it's just because all the feelings we had were positive that's why it's harder like I can listen to love songs and that and not even think of him. I just feel he has strong feelings for me and just got scared . I am focusing on myself . I just don't know how I'd get him back like the best messages to send. I heard that after no contact for 30days that's the best I time I did break it twice at the start and then halfway now I'm near 30days. Should I text him? at the end?

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    • Mm, I'm not sure. Try ignoring him some more and see if he tries again?

    • Yeah that's what I'm gonna do. I'm just wondering if that means I must be on his mind maybe perhaps even missing me even if it's not the right way I'd like.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I wish there was an easy answer... but, I think the best thing to do is keep doing your best to move on. One trick I use is I look forward to the next girl... I imagine all the awesome feelings I will have when I meet her and how it will be better. Key is always look forward - not behind you. I'm wishing you the best, hang in there - it'll get better!

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  • You deserve so much better darling, you are not some item available anytime he wants you to be. He is treating you like utter rubbish and you should call him out on it. I'm sorry but this is not how a guy should behave while in any relationship. Seeing you on the side while he's with someone else? That is not healthy for anyone, be the stronger woman that you are and don't take that crap, you have to stand for something because if you don't you'll keep falling for him again. To me this is a dead end, leaving you broken-hearted yet more than you already are. Moving somewhere far away from him will help you as well, substantially.

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    • I'm so tempted to reply that's the most annoying thing. I'm wondering if maybe he was like that while he was with me or he still feels something for me maybe testing. Maybe the new girlfriend is a rebound. It's just annoying he texted me I'm half moving forward like is that all you want and half going I want to talk to him. Might text him in a week but not reply to his hook up message.

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    • I'm actually happy he texted because I'm in control now not him since he texted me and he'll be wondering why I'm not replying .

    • What would I text him if I was to text him? but not today.

What Girls Said 1

  • Remove everything that reminds you of him from sight; cards, his T-shirt, teddy bears, whatever.

    Remove all sappy love songs from you iPod. Fill it up with fun, girly, just broke up and loving life music.

    Get a make-over. Get some highlights, buy some new make-up, get a new pair of fierce shoes, etc. If you look good, you feel good, and maybe you might even attract some new love interests. Just because the first few weren't the best and made you miss him, doesn't mean that all other dates will be the same.

    Good luck!

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    • Good idea, removing material items that have a presence always helps in these kinds of situations . To get rid of the memory of someone is dang near impossible, you just remember them and think about them more. It's hard, but with loving supportive people who you can talk with, you could always vent to them about your feelings, this might get them out of your system and make you feel all the more better.

    • He drunk texted me at 4am "Wanna hookup ;)" this is like when I'm 21days into no contact didn't think he'd text me. He seems to be thinking of me maybe not in the way I want. I want to reply but he just said hook up I do miss him but then if I met up for a hook up he's in control so I'm just going to ignore it maybe he'll reply with a different message.

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