GAG, please help. Boyfriend and I had a huge fight, and now we're "not together". How do I fix this?

Basically, I made a big mistake. I was being childish and stupid. He's my boyfriend of a year and half, and this is our first "big" fight. It was over something stupid, and I secretly feel he's being a tad dramatic but I'm not saying that to him. Basically, I thought he was trying to hook up with the neighbor girl (long story), and we ended up having a big fight about it. I was wrong, but now he says I hurt his feelings really badly and doesn't know if he wants us to be together anymore.

And to be clear, I'm not one of those girls that constantly accuses their boyfriends of cheating on them. It REALLY seemed like something was up, and I wasn't the only one who thought so. But I was dead wrong apparently.

Anyway. In the midst of the breakup fight we had, he said, "We're not dating. We may again someday, but not right now." And then he said I'm amazing, and that he loves me, but I hurt him sometimes. This was about two weeks ago, and he's still sticking to his guns about us not being together anymore, but says it's on the table still. I don't know what this means. Yet he still texts me. If I text him, he texts me back. He still tells me he loves me. But he gets upset if I try to discuss anything with him, and shuts down. I don't know what to do. I feel like maybe he's confused about his feelings for me, or maybe he just needs a little time to get over what happened? I don't know, but I'm freaking out.

If he TRULY wanted to break off the relationship, he wouldn't be still texting me and telling me he loves me, and telling me that we "may" get back together someday... right? Idk, I feel like this is a stupid fight and it's been blown way out of proportion. I just want the drama to end. While I understand why it would hurt that he was wrongly accused of cheating, I still think that ending the relationship over ONE fight is dramatic. I just want to fix it..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't fix it...only time will. Just give him space.

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    • Do you think he most likely will come around though? I'm aware you don't know him, and aren't psychic, but just in general... Most couples have fights about things like this at some point in their relationship, right? Many times even worse things, and they still end up back together. And he still tells me he loves me. And he still answers if I text him.

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    • Well instead of texting - call him and ask if he'd meet up. Honestly from some of the words you use, you aren't taking ANY responsibility for your part in this fight. So I would be VERY apologetic at this meeting if it happens. Do not hint that you think he's being over dramatic. And be sure you FULLY don't have suspicions of him cheating, or we'll be right back here in a few weeks.

    • Oh, no I AM taking responsibility. It doesn't sound like it from my question, but I have believe me. I haven't even told him that I think he's being a baby about it, lol. I'm keeping that one all to myself. I'm making this all about me being wrong and him being right. Meeting up is a good idea, but right now I can't, because he's at his mother's house and she lives hours away. It will be a little while before meeting up with him is a possibility. But thanks anyway.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not so sold. You add the apparently for a reason. Why did you think that he was cheating and why do you suddenly believe that he wasn't? And I hope that you don't answer with because he and she told me that they weren't. And the rest of what you said isn't a good sign. In fact, it lends credence to your thinking that he was cheating on you.

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    • Honestly, I WAS definitely wrong. I didn't supply details because I didn't want the question to be too long. He absolutely was not cheating on me, and he doesn't even know the neighbor girl that well. Her and her friends told me that they think he's weird, actually. Just by talking to them, I know that it definitely wasn't what I thought.

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    • I'd never recommend this at the start of a relationship, but, since you're been dating so long, you should be OK. Plus, you've already said everything that there is to say. Anyway, stop contacting him. I know it's scary but let days if not a week go by and let him wonder if you've moved on. If you do, he'll probably get over it and contact you within 3-4 days. (And I also read your comment to the girl, I know retract some of what I said before; no wonder he's pissed.)

    • Well, now he has this stupid fine he has to pay and he's freaking out about it because he can't afford it. I offered to help him pay it, so maybe that will put me back on his good side somewhat.

  • He feels betrayed. Nothing you can do. I mean, I don't blame you for being suspicious. The situation you are in now sucks. Think of fun things to do to keep you mind off of things for the moment being.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Oh well I know many girls who do the same and yes this kind of accusation may lead to a break up.How many times did it happen? Is this the first time? I bet you might been telling him the same thing few times so he probably get tired with your attitude.You should give him some time and space but don't lost contact with him.Try to keep him on track and talk to him like normal.Don't be pushy about the fight and if its possible don't talk about it much.Maintain the nice conversation.I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and yeah sometimes I accused him with the same thing and it made him so angry.Be careful with such accusation.It's not healthy because trust is the major thing in all relationships.In your case I think you still have a chance otherwise he won't be contacting you..Just let him calm down first.

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    • Ok... and I was suspicious once before probably about 8 months back, and we had a little fight about it, but got over it. This is the second time. It's not something I have a habit of doing. I have a bit of a trust issue, but honestly, I think I can manage it now that this has happened because I've proven myself wrong.

    • This will be a lesson to you I suppose.Don't ever accuse him unless if you have a strong reason to or at least a small proof.For now just keep track on him and make sure he is still talking to you.

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