She doesn't deserve it. When she ended it, she lied to me about all her reasons for breaking up with me (I found out later that she'd met someone else). We lived together for about two and a half years, during which she constantly told me what a great guy I was, how different I was from other guys she'd been with, that she couldn't believe how amazing I was. She has a daughter, (eight now, five at the time we met) who I helped raise and who came to be the same as my own blood, which makes it even harder.
After she dusted me and I moved out, she moved this guy in a couple of weeks later, and he's essentially living the life that I built. This severely irritates me.
I want her back. I don't WANT to want her back, but it's like I can't help it. And the more time that passes, the more I want it. I've been working out, trying to get myself in better shape. While I'm working, I fantasize about different ways of accomplishing this. How to do it, what to say, I'll play whole conversations out in my head that I know damn well would never go that way in reality, but I do it anyway.
I want her to regret leaving me. I feel like I'm willing to do almost anything to accomplish this. I don't like feeling this way. And I've tried everything I can think of to move on. I even had a decent new relationship going, and I ended that because I wasn't feeling for her the way I should be, and I didn't want her to get any more emotionally invested in me.
I know this stupid obsession with my ex is to blame, but I don't know how to fix it, apart from to let it play out and do what I can and suffer more disappointment and agony and ruin my life further in the process until that stupid stubborn part of me that can't let go finally gives the f*ck up.
There has to be a better way. There just has to be.
Most Helpful Girl
Read your story and just thought of something that helped me when I was in your shoes.
Yes, you should pay more attention to yourself, your body and health. Go out more with your friends, try to have fun, be busier than you generally are.
Besides, even though it might not feel right at first, date someone and show love and care for her. Her reaction might surprise you and you will want to do more for her.
When I broke up with my ex, I started dating another guy and it just didn't feel right. Now we have been together for 3 years and are as happy as one can think.2
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