Can you have a good relationship without being completely over your ex?

It's been a year since we broke up and we don't contact each other. I'm not completely over him but accepted the situation.

His best friend mentioned me that he saw my EX checking my social media etc and about 3 months ago my EX sent me a message saying he hopes to see an "us" in the future.

Question on moving on, "Can you have a good relationship without being completely over your EX?"

Please give examples of your experience if possible.
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • See answer/never had a relationship
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|0
57

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this is more complicated than a yes or no, so I didn't answer the poll.

    I think it depends on how you define get over. To a certain degree we never get over some ex's. That experience and the effect they had on us can never be forgotten. If the relationship was good, its also normal to long for something similar. It's also normal to think about them. I'm sure your parents still remember people they dated years ago before they even met. So in that regard, you can still have a successful relationship while still having a certain level of love and respect for that person.

    However, it all boils down to the emotional attachment and your intentions. If you are still fully emotionally attached the person and still have intentions on getting back together with them, then the answer is no, you cannot have a good relationship because your heart and mind will still be putting more focus on your ex than your new SO. You'll always be holding back and not giving 100% to the new relationship because deep down you really don't care if it succeeds. It's your second choice.

    Basically you have to ask yourself this. If your ex were to ask you out again tomorrow, would you say yes. If you would in fact go out with them again, then you are not over your ex enough to start a new relationship.

    Most of my relationships didn't get too serious to the point where I couldn't get over them very quickly. However, I did have one where I was very much in love. I was prepared to marry the girl. After she broke up with me, it took a while to remove my emotional attachment. However, years later, if she were to come knocking on my door and ask to date me again, I would definitely say no, so I know that I am over her. Do I hate her, no. Do I not still look fondly on what we had, no. I just no that we are not meant to be anymore and that my future is with someone else, regardless of how good she was for me.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Why would you say no to her? Bad break up?

    • Not necessarily. I've just moved on. I don't care about her the way I did before. I've severed those emotional ties inside of myself. Running into her would be like just running into any other girl on the street.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • The answer is yes. Actually being with someone else also speeds the recovery of getting over your ex-partners so long as you effectively move on. This means that you must cut ties to some degree, but if you are actively talking to your ex-partners with residual feelings while also making no mental effort to move past them obviously the outcome will not be great.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No one is completely over with it - unless they never were really in love

    but

    you can completely love the next one by placing that morsel of past love in the vault

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends on the "over" part.

    There's girls who get over their ex romantically, but were not over what happened. These may be able to be in another relationship, but still cause problems.

    I dated a girl who was over her ex romantically, but wasn't over what happened and it got annoying really fast. Some guys may be able to put up with a girl recycling the same situations with her ex over and over again, but now I don't have the patience. We even bumped into an ex of hers by total coincidence and even though I knew she wouldn't go back to him, it meant me having to listen to her recycle more memories over again, which got so old.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think asking this question already has given you an answer

    0|0
    0|0
  • Like anything else, I think it varies person to person. For me, the answer would be "no".

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are you understanding that you and your ex will never get back together? Can you only be friends with your ex without tying any emotions to it?

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • I think it'd be unfair to your next boyfriend, if you were still in an awkward relationship with your ex. I don't mean a couple relationship, but I think you see my point. If you still contact your ex and still feel weird about it (as in that you're not completely over it), you're not being fully committed to the new guy. Unfinished business means something, even if you think it doesn't. It means that for as long as you make the relationship with your ex last, you accept that you'll compare everything your new guy is to your ex. It might not be a conscious choice, but it's what it is. If you ARE intending to dedicate yourself to a new guy, you must either a) Not contact your ex anymore OR b) Be on good terms with your ex, but completely over the relationship (aka a genuine friendship and you being sure you wouldn't date this guy ever again, even if he suggested it and declared his love for you again).

    The reason why I keep mentionning a new guy although you didn't mention anyone in the picture is because the new guy represents moving on. You don't automatically move on once you meet someone new. And by the way I see things, you're clearling not over you ex, which DOES prevent you from moving on. A relationship with someone you haven't moved on from will either be a) fake (things are forced) OR b) Hurtful and a road block to you moving on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I started my current relationship not being completely over my ex but after a month I realized how I should be treated and how happy my boyfriend makes me and it's been a year since that happened so as long as you cut your ex out of your life completely yes you can

    0|0
    0|0
  • Personally it's difficult for me to fully dedicate myself to a relationship if I still have another guy in the back of my mind.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope you would constantly have that person on your mind.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ruined my last relationship so, no.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...