It's been a year since we broke up and we don't contact each other. I'm not completely over him but accepted the situation.
His best friend mentioned me that he saw my EX checking my social media etc and about 3 months ago my EX sent me a message saying he hopes to see an "us" in the future.
Question on moving on, "Can you have a good relationship without being completely over your EX?"
Please give examples of your experience if possible.
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
- See answer/never had a relationshipVote C
Most Helpful Guy
I think this is more complicated than a yes or no, so I didn't answer the poll.
I think it depends on how you define get over. To a certain degree we never get over some ex's. That experience and the effect they had on us can never be forgotten. If the relationship was good, its also normal to long for something similar. It's also normal to think about them. I'm sure your parents still remember people they dated years ago before they even met. So in that regard, you can still have a successful relationship while still having a certain level of love and respect for that person.
However, it all boils down to the emotional attachment and your intentions. If you are still fully emotionally attached the person and still have intentions on getting back together with them, then the answer is no, you cannot have a good relationship because your heart and mind will still be putting more focus on your ex than your new SO. You'll always be holding back and not giving 100% to the new relationship because deep down you really don't care if it succeeds. It's your second choice.
Basically you have to ask yourself this. If your ex were to ask you out again tomorrow, would you say yes. If you would in fact go out with them again, then you are not over your ex enough to start a new relationship.
Most of my relationships didn't get too serious to the point where I couldn't get over them very quickly. However, I did have one where I was very much in love. I was prepared to marry the girl. After she broke up with me, it took a while to remove my emotional attachment. However, years later, if she were to come knocking on my door and ask to date me again, I would definitely say no, so I know that I am over her. Do I hate her, no. Do I not still look fondly on what we had, no. I just no that we are not meant to be anymore and that my future is with someone else, regardless of how good she was for me.1