Most Helpful Guy
You need to change. Change the way you see others, the way you live, the people that you date, change the locks, change the phone number, change your address - change the way you see yourself, change the way you let others treat you. No one should have any 'power' over you that you don't let them have. You also have to learn to communicate and trust. Find someone that you trust, a support group, a doctor, religious leader, phone a hotline. Talk. To SOMEONE. I know that it sounds crazy but talking does help. Learn to deal with and accept you past, put it behind you and embrace a future and a new way of life. Get religion, fly kites, go sky diving - just make it something different the you usually do, what ever it is - change.
Also, love and respect yourself. No one else will respect you or love you if you do not truly love or respect yourself. Women are a gift to man. A gift to cherish, love, hold dear, respect and care for. To protect, to provide for, to love. They (women) bring life into this world, our off spring. Our blood. Our future. Why would anyone want to hurt, humiliate or injure such beauty is beyond me - incomprehensible.
I am a victim of not only sexual abuse (rape and sex abuse for 8 years) of self-destructive behavior. Don't try to be something that you are not. You are not a victim, a waste of space or a piee of sh___! You ARE worth love, life, respect, care, protection and all that comes with being a gift and NOT a possession.
The time for change has long past and was history. Like all history, if you do not learn from it you are doomed to repeat it - so CHANGE. There is help out there - seek it, accept it and move on - put into life what you want out of it.
Best of Luck to you.