What about the exes? Ever happen to you?

How many of you have had an ex come back after dumping you or have wanted an ex back after you dumped them?

I'm not talking about your most recent ex or the "ex that matters." I'm asking how many of you have EVER had an ex come back after dumping you even if you decided not to give it another try.

The reason I ask this is that I was having a discussion with my friends and we realized after asking several people that most have had at least a few exes wanting to try and work things out regardless of gender, length of the relationship, or reason for the breakup.

The thing is most of the time, the person that got dumped had already moved on. Some however have given it another shot and are engaged to be married and others have been back together for an extended period of time. These few couples seem to have an even stronger relationship and appreciate each other more. (at least from my observations while hanging out with them)

Has this ever happened to you? Please share some details such as how long you were together, how long were you apart, whether you tried giving it another shot, etc. for each time.

On the flipside, if you were the one that dumped your s/o in your relationships.. did you ever try to go back to see if things could be worked out?

This is a nonjudgmental poll, just interested to see the results because I think people will be surprised to see how common it is to have an ex come back. Most people online are so negative but they never mention the times where a previous ex wanted to work things out... they are just so wrapped up in the current one haha

feel free to be as negative or positive as you want. I've heard opinions from both sides of the spectrum. exes never come back...exes always come back... it never works out... both appreciate each other more the second time...blah blah blah haha
  • Yes, I've had ex's try to get back together after dumping me
    Vote A
  • No, I've never had any ex's try to get back together after dumping me
    Vote B
  • Yes, I was the dumper and tried to get my ex back
    Vote C
  • No, I was the dumper and never tried to get back with my ex
    Vote D
  • This will be interesting, I just want to see the answers
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex who now has a kid and moved out of the country back to the states tried to get back with me. I couldn't believe it. It was super hilarious. He broke up with me because of distance (but possibly was cheating too) and was a total d*** about it.

    Two years later he chats me up claiming he never wanted to break up with me but had to, and says that he misses me and is being all flirty and all that bullsh*t. Yeah no.

    Why do people think they can get away with sh*t like that? After you reject someone they're not going to want you back!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • My friend had a bad break up with her boyfriend (he left her after two years) he moved to a different state to get away from her. Funny thing is she dated around, he didn't. Four months later they decided to get enaged after being apart. And there relationship improved tremendously (though everyone and myself had doubts).

    Personally I always try to get the friendship back, men always try to get the sex back (in either case).

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  • I've only ever really had one legitimate relationship, and that's the one I'm in right now. But I dated a guy very briefly in high school. I really liked him a lot, and had had a serious crush on him for a long time prior to us dating. Well, one day out of the blue (about twenty minutes after he had left my house, no less) he sent me a text message, and just dumped me! He never really gave me a reason. Actually, he told me that he "didn't have a enough gas money to see me". LOL! That has to be the stupidest excuse I ever heard. But I never got a real reason from him, other than that. And he just kind of cut me off, and quit talking to me for a few months. Then one day, he called me up, and told me he wanted to give it another try. We sort of tried it again, and the same thing happened. So after that, I decided to be done with him completely.

    I've known this guy since pre school, and we're pretty good friends. I know to a complete stranger it sounds like he's just a womanizer who's trying to use me for sex or something (I've never even slept with him), but I KNOW that's not true, lol. I honestly don't understand what his deal is. I feel nothing for him, and I only see him as a friend. But he still begs me to be his girlfriend on a pretty regular basis. It's pretty annoying actually. About two weeks ago, he called me at 4 in the morning, drunk, telling me how he's in love with me and wants us to be together.

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  • yeah. I actually just recently got back with my ex after being split up for a little over a year. the relationship, feelings of love, feelings of hate, and break up were all super intense so we broke up due to highly intense hurt by one another. we said that we hated one another and he immediately got into a rebound relationship and moved far away for a year with her. she so happened to think that relationship was true/meaningful and really wanted him to get engaged and eventually married to her ( I mean they were dating for a year) while he was faking his feelings for her to get over me. it all became super messy when he came back to America and told her that he still had feelings for me. she was deeply heart broken and he wasn't proud of what he did to her but he was so sick of pretending like he was happy with her. I love him more than any guy in this world and I feel like everything that happened between us made us a lot stronger. we both realized that we can't live without each other and dating other people is so unfulfilling and disgusting since no one could ever compare to the way we feel about each other. we both love each other more than anything.

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  • My ex husband (6 year marriage) wanted to get back together after leaving me for another. After I filed divorce papers he changed his mind and wanted to go to counseling, the counseling he initially said I needed only. I didn't get back together with him, too much pain.

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  • I could say yes to both.

    One of my exes dumped me and tried to come back, and I said no way cause he had already put me through a lot of crap. So that was a great decision for me.

    Then I broke up with a guy and asked to get back together, and he accepted. We're still together now, 3 years later, so I think that was also a good decision.

    It depends a lot on WHY it happened, to be wishy-washy about it. And I think you can feel in your gut whether the person is really sorry or not.

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  • I've experienced both, ironically with the same ex. We were together when I was young for about 2 years all up. We were a dysfunctional couple that broke up and got back together multiple times. We usually wanted one another back after we moved on - immature, unhealthy and completely stupid.

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  • It's my experience that in fact, the person who did the DUMPING had already moved on in their head long before the actual break-up.

    Personally, I've never known anyone who got back together with an ex then went on to have a long-term, successful relationship. It may have worked for a while but in the end, the differences that drove them apart in the first place always resurfaced.

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  • I have dumped every one of my exes and they have all tried to come back.

    The way I see it; you're my ex for a reason.

    I love it when they say "You'll never find someone like me" .. my reply is always "That's the point, loser!".

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    • You come off as wanting to sound cool about dumping someone and acting cold...

    • I'm not in any way trying to sound cool nor cold. In fact, if you ask anyone who knows me about my weakness, they will all tell you I'm too nice/trusting.

      All I am saying is that all my exes have tried to come back to me and I do not accept (only once for current bf) because I did no wrong, therefore expect the same from them. Some have even tried several times throughout years. They were the ones that screwed up, then they realized what they had, but it was too late.

  • Yes. Nearly every date/relationship has tried to get back in.

    It actually really pisses me off. Once it's done it's done regardless of who cut it. I do not believe in re-runs...

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  • I try to cut them out competely but I have one get back with me.

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  • I tried to get back with my ex and it was pretty painful... we used drugs together and then I got sober but still felt like I loved him but I realized he wasn't changing anytime soon... I literally just checked his Facebook, I still miss him. but he kept things from me and things were not perfect.

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  • Yes I've tried to get back with people I have dumped & have had exes try to get back with me. All depends on what happened in the relationship wether I take them back or not or if the feelings were still there.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Since I was about 22-23, I started telling girls I got into relationships with the following:

    "Don't ever stay with me out of obligation. The door is open, and you can leave at anytime. I may ask you to reconsider, but I'll never stop you if you want to leave. I want you to stay and be with me because you WANT to be with me; because that's YOUR choice.

    "Having said that, know this: if you ever DO walk out the door, you'd better keep walking, because our relationship will be OVER, and there will be nothing for you here. I don't do the "break up and make up" thing, so know that I don't do "second chances" on the big stuff. I take this seriously, and you need to take it seriously too."

    That tends to cut WAY down on the games, and sets the expectation that if they give up on the relationship, I'm going to end it if they haven't already, and there won't be a second chance.

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  • Vote F: I dumped her, she wanted to get back, I gave in.

    ...6 months later, she did it again and I didn't dump her, then again, then once more, I still didn't dump her because she left before I could. I wasn't even unhappy then. I had become indifferent.

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  • My first girlfriend dumped me, then some years later tried to reach back out to me regretting how she'd treated me and wanting to get back together. I wasn't interested. When I dated her I really had no clue what I wanted in a girl, and when she got back in touch with me I'd totally moved on.

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  • Every girl I have broken up with(me dumping her) has tried to give it another shot. I only tried with one but I couldn't forget what happened the first time so it never worked out. However I feel more inclined to give second chances the older I get, just realizing people make mistakes.

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  • The only time I've had an ex try to get back to me, is when I moved on from her ultra quickly, or when I apparently had a better life once she was gone.

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