I cheated and lost the new guy. Is there any way to get the new guy back?

I had a boyfriend that I didn't tell a guy I met 2 months ago. We started to hang out and we went on friend-dates with obvious interest in each other for about a month. My boyfriend and the new guy happened to meet, but I never told the new guy that he was my actual boyfriend. The new guy and I continued to go on innocent dates together and we eventually got intimate (all the way) on his birthday. It was that night that I initiated that we shouldn't do this anymore because I had a boyfriend and he agreed. We attempted a separation and I went away on a business trip. We continued to talk and when I came back home, we saw each other every day for a week and got emotionally closer and closer. It was later that week that my boyfriend found out about him and broke it off as I walked into the new guy's home. I showed I was frazzled and stressed out my boyfriend was breaking if off. Reason was because I was receiving insults and threats from the boyfriend and not because I didn't want to lose him. However, the new guy did not know that. He only saw me being stressed out. A few days later, the new guy ended it with me with little explanation. The new guy just told me that it was the situation that happened and what we had wouldn't work. A week later I drive to the new guy's house to apologize to him what I did because I knew I hurt him. He said we needed to stay away from each other for awhile because he was mad at me. That said, I didn't talk to him for another 2 weeks. It was yesterday that I saw him again. I hit him up a few days ago asking to see him and he responded right away. He even took off early from work to see me when we scheduled to see each other later that night. I only wanted to meet and talk to let him know how I really feel about him and that he wasn't a catalyst/used/rebound. I believe I fell for this guy because I think about him all the time. In my time with the new guy yesterday, he was more relaxed and we had a wonderful coffee date. We ended up watching a movie at his place and I watched him be physically and emotionally hesitant to be closer to me. He'd get closer to me as we watched movies, but pull back multiple times. 3/4 into the night, the guy caved & we ended up holding hands, cuddling, and getting intimate. I saw he was happy. However, in time to depart, he seemed more reserved again physically. Mind you, this guy is a Marine and he's very conservative and reserved. We had a talk at the end and he admitted that he's still hurt/upset and we can't be together...that we shouldn't continue. He even told me that he hopes I get over him soon. He said he still has feelings for me & wanted the letter I wrote for him. He's also in college and is currently taking 17 units (EXTREME full load of classes). He initially said that he can't date me because he doesn't have the time. I got him to admit that it's also because of my recent break up issue. He said that he felt like a rebound/I couldn't make a choice. Is there a way that this can be fixed?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow I feel sorry for the both of those guys. You played em both. One reason why he's hesitant is because you'll probably do the same thing to him. Actions speak louder than words and your actions don't sit well with him. He likes you no doubt but doesn't want to risk the chance of you cheating on him like you did you ex. If you want him you're gonna have to change and show you won't cheat on him. That means not going on dates with other guys and inviting him to events with you. Basically be with him and only him.

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    • I accidently thumbed down you so you should have 3 thumbs up. but best answer and you put it in a nicer way than I wouldve. Poor guys...

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What Guys Said 15

  • I think the amount of negative comments by the guys shows you how much we despise cheaters. So please learn from this and don't end up hurting lots of future partners.

    How the hell do you know he wasn't a catalyst/used/rebound. He was at the very least used as a catalyst, because of him your ex broke up with you.

    Please tell me how can you not give a damn about your ex? He didn't do anything nasty to you.

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    • My ex was extremely nasty to me. He was verbally abusive . I had wanted it to end with him for awhile. I do feel for what I did. I risked asking this question to get cyber bullied in hopes someone could just advise and not judge.

  • "Innocent dates" while having a boyfriend lol. Sorry, but you are the true meaning of trash. You don't have a shot with either of these men, nor do you deserve one. You deserve to be alone until you grow up.

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  • No, there isn't. And the fact that you're only sorry you got caught poses a bigger problem. You probably have no business being in a relationship with anyone, ever. At least not until you can resolve this issue about yourself.

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  • Old boyfriend - Not a chance

    New guy - Not a chance.

    You just f***ed up A-A-RON!

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  • The worst part of it is that you don't even understand that what you did was inherently wrong.

    You just regret being caught and getting insulted by your ex.

    That's pathetic.

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  • If you're going to cheat, what business do you have being in a relationship

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    • I didn't. My boyfriend was verbally abusive to me for years. It was difficult to be brave to end it with him. I knew what I did was wrong. I'm not heartless...just weak and afraid of what my boyfriend would do in bringing up a break up at all.

    • To brave it to the end? What you did was cowardly...

  • Wall of text. Go back to your home on Whore Island.

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  • I had a similar situation except I was "the new guy". I felt terrible and just couldn't stay with her. She was eventually taken back by her boyfriend.

    "Come get your girl, she been here for three days

    And she way too attached to me

    Hate when they get too attached to me"

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  • Yes, but only if you recognize what you did is wrong and you should change your ways. No one wants to be with one who cheats.

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  • why does he say you guys can't be together? being busy with school isn't really a good reason.. you would just see each other less

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  • The marine guy just had you as a fling...

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  • Wow, I hope everyone reads your other question too... Seeing your other question on this site, I can understand why your boyfriend was "verbally abusive" because you cheated on him once before. He was the fool for staying, but neither guy deserved this. Glad both guys left you. It's obvious from your answers to some of these posts that you have a problem taking responsibility for any of your actions, which is why neither guy wants to be with you. Everyone's comments aren't "cyber bullying," as you allege, but rather atonement for your indecency to recognise any accountability on your part. So take the advice of your "ex-best friend," (another relationship you f***ed up) and be by yourself for a while because you are delusional scum and you really don't deserve to be with anyone, despite whatever lie may say to justify your pathetic existence. Too bad its not the 17th century because, instead of angry comments, they'd burn whores like you at the stake.

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  • it's brings a tear to my eye to know that there are sluts like this in the world.

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  • He doesn't want to get involved because you did this to your boyfriend at the time, so you've established that your trustworthiness is questionable and your commitments aren't serious enough for you to taje them in a mature manner. He's saving himself the possibility that you'll do this to him.

    I don't you can change this as he seems to be pretty in control of himself regarding you.

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  • You cheated, you are a scumbag regardless of any excuse that may spill from your face.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Wow. It is crazy that you have no concern for your ex. I will never have respect for a woman or man who lacks the decency to break things off before moving on with another person. You are the lowest of the low. It is obvious, just from this rambling, illogical post, that you are deeply insecure. Gain some respect for yourself and others before you defile another person's heart. My advice: GROW UP and take responsibility for your despicable actions.

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  • What a slut lol toooo funny

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  • Probably not but who cares there's plenty of fish in the sea.

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  • No

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