Why don't people like hearing the truth?

my friend ended our friendship today because I was being honest with her and told her she was getting played. she called me telling me the situation about her boyfriend and his ex constantly keep calling and texting. he gives her the phone when she is around and its obvious the ex know the times she around as well as he do. well when she answer the phone, she try to start drama with the girl who is the guy ex, but her suppose to be boyfriend let her act alone. when she ask him questions while the girl who is his ex is on the phone, he act like he don't care and ignore her. most of all she said he still protect his ex. the only thing I told her is that since you leaving out of states there is a good chance of a breakup. I was just being honest with her. she constantly ask him why she calling but he refuse to get rid of her. she asked for my opinion and I gave it to her. its obvious that he is not over his ex neither is she over him. she think just because she live with him, he love her. but truth be told, his actions make it seem as if she was a mistake. was I wrong for being honest? she asked my opinion and I told her. she said we aren't friends anymore. but if you have been dealing with his ex this long, he's not even willing to get over her nor change his number. he refuse to tell her his ex girlfriend phone number, refuse to tell where she stay at or anything about her. her boyfriend did not indulge in her ignorance nor laughed when she laughed. his ex girlfriend can call 24/24...he ain't doing nothing about it but picking up and answering or responding to her text. so where is the problem? maybe the guy does not wanna get rid of his ex girlfriend maybe you were a mistake. its the honest truth.if him and his ex still have dealing together regardless of what he say, he is hiding something.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I love hearing the truth. The truth is the only thing you end up learning from in the long run.

    Id much rather have someone be brutally honest and tell me the reason, rather than me sitting there thinking it out like some episode of CSI.

    I'm kinda this way with relationships as well, if a girl doesn't like me, TELL ME for god sakes, so I don't waste my time or yours!

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    • all I was telling her is, if his ex is still calling his phone after you been dating him for a year, he is just using you. he's not trying to get rid of her at all. she was only there because she needed a place to stay and she leaving next week out of states. he don't even love her, he still love his ex if he protecting her still and let you talk drama by yourself.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Truth hurts? People think they are right, when you tell them they aren't you likely aren't going to get a positive response unless you are very good with you're wording so they think that they came up with that conclusion of their own volition

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  • When it comes to relationships, most people are not ready to hear a truth like this one. This put you in a very bad position when she asked your opinion. I assume she knew this wasn't right but clearly she was not ready to have him portrayed this badly. It puts her in a difficult place too. She may have felt that she had to choose between her loyalty to you and her loyalty to him. You didn't intend that to force that choice but it does work out that way. She has to ignore what you say to stay with him or she has to breakup with him to take you seriously. It was too much.

    A better idea would be to give her options that address her fears in the relationship without forcing a choice. In that scenario, instead of addressing his character, offer ideas for what she can do to cope with the situation or get to the bottom of it. Ideally she will learn the truth herself from doing that without having to make a choice between people. The good news is that if and when she sees who this guy is, she may be ready to pick up your friendship again.

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  • the truth can hurt and while I think most people want the truth we often don't actually want to hear it...

    example: a few nights last week I had dreams in which my girlfriend was really being pretty sh*tty. she's says likes honesty so when she asked me why I hadn't been sleeping well I hesistantly explained. she cried and made all these associations that if I was having these dreams that I must be unhappy or feel the way I'm dreaming (maybe some dreams reflect truths but certainly not all) ... so I had to play damage control

    we often say we want the truth but can't handle the truth. that's why we say ignorance is bliss right? it's better (in some ways) to not know your partner is cheating because you are blissfully unaware (not able to be hurt, feel betrayed) when of course the truth will set you free it still can be a tough pill to swallow at times

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What Girls Said 1

  • People usually don't like hearing the truth because the truth often hurts.

    If you really want people to take in your honesty without it backfiring, you need to be careful about how you deliver the truth. Some people are just outright tactless, bitchy, and condescending. They lack sensitivity and it can come off as them lacking people skills and just being mean spirited.

    Your situation is just silly. Your friend shouldn't feel the need to end a friendship because you were looking out for her. She will learn the hard way. Don't feel bad.

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    • she is really is gonna learn the hard way I'm afraid. her boyfriend still love his ex and gone always. if you have been dealing with his ex calling for a year, why you not packing and leaving? his ex always calls him but she only answered when he pass the phone to her but that's also rare because his ex girlfriend can see him without calling. no matter what he say or how he talk about her he's not over her. then she started talking about their sex be good, he ain't going anywhere. smh

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    • Doesn't look like it! Looks like she is determined to learn the hard way!

    • Well, you can't fix stupid.

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