How does one let go of the past or should I? I could really use some insight right now

I've been with my man now for over 2 years and I'm still having problems getting over his behavior from a year and a half ago. I found out he was seeing someone else when we met maybe 3 months into us being together. He was telling her he would never hurt her and how lucky he was to be with her. Then the same day he's messaging her those words he has me over for the weekend. I was told by him that she was just a friend. Anyways they broke up because they had issues. so him and I end up boyfriend and girlfriend and for months into us being a couple he was asking her if they should get back together but he told her he was confused. Then when she inquired about me maybe a month after that he was saying ya sort of I guess we're together and telling her I was nuts. Then I find out he was telling several women he was attracted to that he was lonely and single and we had been a couple for at least 4 months at that point. When I found this out I freaked and told him we were over and he stopped that behavior over a year and a half ago. He deleted those women from his fb and stopped telling his ex he missed her. I can't help going over in my mind that he was looking for something better to replace me but no one took the bait. How does one let go of the past or should I?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't trust him. I wouldn't either. He got caught out in his game. Honey, he may be still playing that game but doing it smarter.

    I know a guy who has been in relationship with a girl for 5 years. He had been in a year-2 year relationship before that and she devastated him,broke his heart and dug it into the ground. She was horrendous. He was hurt. He decided there's no point being 'in love' and putting oneself in this situation if the woman can't be faithful. So, he meets a new girl who's overweight. She's meets me one day and he lets me know (we were good friends) that a few days later, she asked him who I was...panic, panic. What she doesn't know is that he fancied me for a long time and would have dated me exclusively IF I wanted to be with him. So, he's with this girl, and lets me know (we were pretty honest with each other) that he's been sleeping around with random women for the first year. She suspected me esp. and didn't want him to even speak with me on the phone or text. She didn't trust me and him. There was never anything and out of respect, I agreed with him that I would keep out of the picture until she's more stable. I did give out to him for sleeping around and he actually curbed that a few months later. He has been faithful to this girl now and is due to marry her next year.

    He says she cares for him and all his needs, she makes him laugh. Does he love her though...I don't choose to ask as it is none of my business.

    He has chosen to devote himself to this girl and marry her...

    If you were in this situation, would you stay with him? He's curbed his actions and is devoted to her. She may or may not have known what was going on over the last few years. Either way, she's remained in relationship with him. Life is full of choices. You can decide to remain in relationship with this man OR decide that trusting him is just never going to happen.

    You can loose yourself today...this minute and conclude that you were spared from more heartache. You could stay with him, not be considered 'single' again and see where it leads. He could grow up too..

    The ball is in your court... .

    Please Best answer me.

    • Thanks for that. I just found out that it wasn't just an emotional affair but a physical one too for 6 months he was with me he's telling me he loves me and having her over the days I wasn't with him and some days I was. Yet just 2 days ago he told me he Never had an affair and lied right to my face. The affair ended when she was no longer convenient and moved. The affair ended because she moved and no other reason. He wanted and asked her to stay.

    • you have your answer. Once again, he's single, you are probably deducing his sense of morality and respect for relationships from this. It really is up to you to decide if you want an open relationship or a committed one..

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