so I recently moved 5 hours away from my boyfreind of 6 months to go to college, and he asks me all the time if I'm cheating and "i better not be cheating" and even if I just don't answer him for 15 minutes... or if I go to the bathroom... he has some major trust issues so I am a little lenient, but it really hurts my feelings because I am very loyal.
also recently he says that he would kill me if I cheated on him.. and he's really sweet he's not a physcho haha... but it bothers me that he spends time thinking about that he would kill me if I cheated on him...
what should I do.. I know a lot of bad things have happened to him and I feel sometimes like hes. confused and ... I don't know upset? he would never hurt me, but
its hard for me to deal with the no trust thing.. but this is actually scares me
Most Helpful Girl
(Sorry about the long response lol)
Girl, I think you need to take some time and really wonder what your long term goal is for the relationship in terms of could you see yourself with him for the rest of your life? The reason I say this is because this way that he is acting now is not gonna change, so its up to you if you are prepared to accept that type of behavior or not. The fact that he says he would kill you if you cheat says something to. You don't want to end up in an abusive relationship down the road. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm speaking from experience.
I was with a guy for 6 years. He was always a little 'overprotective' at first, always wanted me to call when I reach from point A to B and when I got back. But I thought it was sweet. He always said he didn't know what he would do without me etc etc. After two years, I found out he had cheated on me with an ex of his for basically the first one and 1/2 years but I stayed with hiim because he grew up a kinda hard life and never really had any role models and plus I loved him, my family knew him so I said I would forgive him since he said he'd never do it again blahblahblah. As more years passed I observed certain things about him. He was the sweetest guy ever until he didn't get what he wanted, he was always accusing me even though I never even gave him a reason to think I was unfaithful, and he started threatening me.
I realized his cheating was the reason he never trusted me, because he probably thought I would cheat on him too, which is why he was playing police man concerning my whereabouts. Whenever I missed he calls we had HUGE arguments and I would be the one trying to convince him that I'm innocent, when it was him who was being insecure. Once I was by him for the night and he went through my phone when I went to bathe, saw a text and blew it way out of proportion, which ended up with him putting me in a choke hold and he said he would kill me if he found out I was cheating on him.
So I understand about being leniant but believe me honey, that controlling behavior he has now is going to get way worse if you stay in that relationship. If you think you can handle it, I wish you luck, if not I mean you're young and there are plenty other fish in the sea. Just my opinion.1
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