Does she still have feelings for me or does she hate me?

I dated a girl for a few months about 4 years ago. We got along great and could see the relationship lasting a long time. I was laid off from work and found a new job in a different state so the relationship subsequently ended. We spoke on the phone every once in a while and she came down to visit for a few days at one point. About 2 months after her visit I met someone else. At this point I cut off all contact with the ex.

Fast forward 4 years and I have moved back home. I was at a bar and ran into a friend of my ex. We talked for a minute and left it at that. The next day I find out that the ex had seen me in the bar and got very upset. She left the bar immediately and got into a fight with her friend over the whole deal.

I really had no idea that she was this upset. It really hurts me to know that she feels this way. Is there anything that I can do to make it better? I don't expect to get back together or anything but at the same time I feel terrible that the way that I treated her 4 years ago is having this kind of effect. Should I try and gain some closure with her so that she can move on or continually try and avoid her the rest of my life?


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  • To me, if I don't have any feeling for a guy, I won't even care or get mad about him. In this situation, it's hard to know if she hates or still has feelings for you. I would say contact to meet with her, maybe make it as a coincidence, so that she does not reject the meeting. When you talk to her, it'd make more sense how she actually feels.

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