My girlfriend told me she was abused as a child!

This Monday my girlfriend told me that she was abused as a child and told me who did it... Is a brother of her ex stepfather .

Now my heart hurts so much and I just want to kill the guy or do something to make him pay for it... But she don't want me to do anything... But I can't just be the same knowing this guy is out there and her can do it again e not get punished.

And she told me that I'm the only one she told it to...

What should I do !?

I want to do something to this guy , but on the other hand it can make her feel worse.
Thank you all for your time and help.

I'm trying to let it go and just focusing on make her happy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • you should do nothing except be a good boyfriend to her.

    she has to be able to trust that she can tell you things and you will just listen rather than react. confronting either of these people is pointless and really is a selfish act considering that the only person who wants to confront them is you.

    just be a great boyfriend, which I imagine you are if she felt comfortable to tell you and only you. comfort her, be there for her and give her a great example of what a good guy can be.

    • Thanks.

      Its really hard and painful not to do anything... But I guess you are right.

    • oh I know what you mean. I dated a girl who's father physicall abused her at various points in her life (not sexual). every time I saw him I just had so much rage in me I could barely bring myself to be polite to him at I know the feeling. it's a good sign though and it's probably part of the reason she felt comfortable telling you, because she knew you would be sympathetic and understanding

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Yeah she confided in you for a reason- she trusts you. So please, you owe it to her to not do anything but be there for her and be understanding of her. Try not to let the anger consume you. He's already hurt her, don't let him hurt you emotionally too

  • I was abused as a child as well. The reason she doesn't you to do anything is because it won't help. It might actually make things worse. She told you so you could understand why she acts a certain way sometimes. She wanted comfort and that's all. Tell her you love her and you won't let anyone hurt her like that ever again. Ask her if she is scared. If she is then you can maybe take some action. But she might have told you to see how you would react because she's slightly scared of men now. She might have wanted to make sure you aren't the same.

    • Thanks .

      I told her that I love her and I will take care of her and always be there for her.

      Is just that this pain I'm feeling for her ... I feel like I'm usuless ... My heart is just burning with anger...

  • Defientenly DO NOT go out and get him in trouble or even confide in a close friend or family member because that is possibly the worst thing you could do. Try to ge her to talk to a therapist or a support group. When she is ready she will get stronger about it and may be able to tell her mother but in the meantime be there for her and love her!

  • Don't do anything clearly she trusts you enough to share something like that with. But you going and starting sh*t will make it worse for her. Just comfort her and let it go.


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes