I feel like he's being selfish. Long term boyfriend. Need advice!

My boyfriend and I are in our mid twenties. We've been together 3 years, most of which have been amazing. We both went back to college this semester, and he's turned into someone that I don't even know. His course load is a lot harder than mine, so I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he's just getting worse. Two days ago, I called because I hadn't heard from him in three days. I was trying to be sweet, but he just went off on me. Then, we ha plans last night that were made over a month ago because my family is here from out of town. He hasn't met a lot of them before, so I felt like it was really important. He called two hours ahead and said he couldn't make it because he had too much homework. He promised he would do something with all of us on Saturday before they left, but then realized his favorite college team plays that afternoon and can't miss it. I am exhausted and stressed. It's hard enough having my family here, and I really needed his support this week. He says he can't come sat because watching football is the only fun thing he gets to do, and he needs to unwind. I honestly just want to cry. I KNOW he can be an amazing person, an I believe that in his heart, he's a good person. But I just don't know what to do right now. I feel like he's not being the supportive, loving partner that I need. I don't know what's going on. Advice? Please help.


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What Guys Said 1

  • this is a multi-faceted issue.

    1) he is busy with school. between the classes and the work that is a lot of time and energy. Plus as most students will understand there is just a general stress the comes from school and feeling of requiring very essential down and personal time...so he does have a legit excuse

    2) on the other he is in a relationship and while it is understandable that he may be exhausted, stressed, etc and need relaxing outlets he should make time for you and do his absolute best to keep up with commitments he makes.

    it seems to me that the two of you need to sit down and talk. you need to be sympathetic but not a push over. explain your feelings and what can be done to fix the situation. more or less this is going to require a compromise. He makes and effort and not take his stress out on you...and you be patient, not take things personally and not do things to compound his stress


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