Break up blues and green with jealousy.

My ex and I broke up a few months ago she got into a rebound relationship 2 weeks later after the breakup, I've mourned the relationship and got over her but I feel awful that she has a relationship and I don't . Its affecting my self esteem and makes me feel like I don't deserve anyone. I know it's petty jealousy and that I should grow up but I'm struggling. The thing is I've heard she doesn't like her new boyfriend. What's upsetting me is that I can't find anyone I want, it's like someone's turned off what makes me attracted to girls. I don't know if its because I'm waiting until someone comes along that I just know I like or if its because I'm still messed up from the break up.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It isn't petty jealousy, it is normal. I have been going through exactly the same as you except it is my ex boyfriend in a rebound relationship. What is worse is have no idea whether he actually likes her or whether it is going really well because we have no mutual friends and I deleted him from my life. Like you I know the break up was for the best, but I still cannot get over the fact that he is with someone and I am not. It does make us feel worthless, but it isn't the truth.

    It is just something we have to go through, at times I have actually felt depressed, like I have no energy and see no point to my person, but you have to realize this was just one person in your life. They were intimate with you and they wanted you for you, it was not unconditional love, it was because they desired you and now that is gone you don't feel like you will ever find it again.

    I don't believe she is happy with this guy, she may be for a little while, but it will probably fail in the end, because she just hasn't given herself anytime to get over you and find out what or who really suits her.

    Now no matter how much you would like to do the same as her and find someone to be with, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT get into a relationship until you are over this girl and feel ready. It will fail. The feeling you say of being switched off, is your mind and body telling you, you are not ready for a relationship right now.

    I would delete her from your life, so you don't have to have it rubbed in your face. Delete her from Facebook, twitter... whatever you have to do.

    Take some time for yourself, take up all those hobbies you weren't able to do when you were with her and make a list of all the things you would like to achieve in your life. Make yourself the priority right now. I know it doesn't feel like you will ever get over this but you will soon forget it and you will move on.

    • Thank you so much for your answer its exactly what I needed to hear. I'm just sorry to hear your going through the same thing. Yeah depression and worthlessness are things I've come across too. I battle them by workiing out and I know this sounds silly but looking good beats them feelings too.I defo won't be getting into a relationship because I've been burned so badly and to be honest our relationship was a rebound relationship from her last breakup, this is what she does.

    • Oh my goodness so strange, yeah I took up running because it helps with the depression, and I was also a rebound relationship from his last girlfriend, he does exactly the same, as your ex-girlfriend. They clearly can't stand to be on their own. Good luck with it all, you will find someone right for you in time I am sure. :)

    • Thanks good luck to yourself I'm sure you will find someone you deserve too :) you sound like you've got yourself together. Ill tell you this though, while our exes have rushd headlong into another doomed relationship we've got our heads sorted out, got fit and are making ourselves better and ready for when someone we deserve comes along. It's nice to know there's someone that's taken the same perspective as me on how to get over a breakup.

What Guys Said 1

  • This always happens. Women have unlimited options, if she's not with you she is with someone else. Now you'll probably be waiting a year while she goes through boyfriend after boyfriend. My ex has had more boyfriends than girls I've kissed since we broke up.

    • Yep it hurts like mad. Doesn't seem fair. Although a lot of men sleep aound post breakup so I think it's behavior al thing rather than a gender thing. Although it is easier for girls to find a partner. It doesn't seem fair that they get to deal with a breakup by getting with another person, but I don't think it's the laugh it looks to be. I'd rather feel lonely depressed on my own than be with someone else and still feel depressed.