How can I get my boyfriend back to who he used to be?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we've been living together for one year. The first two years were amazing, but once we moved out on our own, everything slowly started changing. I wanna say it was basic training that triggered his anxiety problems, and the pressures of living on our own magnified them significantly. We went to several doctors, and eventually he was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder. He was put on a few different anti depression/anxiety medications, but to no avail. He said they just took away his ability to feel anything emotionally, and he'd rather not be on them at all. So now he's not on them at all, but he's now afraid to do anything on his own. He feels worthless, useless, and due to his anxiety of life in general, and lack of work experience, he doesn't have any motivation to gain more because he claims to bewworthless as a human being. And to top it off, his family has basically cut him off and disowned him completely, which only makes it worse. He isn't insured anymore, because they took him off their plan. We're barely making it by, and can't spare money for health insurance because of our bills. All the odds are stacked against us, and all of this is coming between us and driving a wedge through our relationship. I'm the only positive influence in his life, the only one holding him together anymore. It's a huge weight on my shoulders, but I love him so much and I have no idea how I'm going to get him help. We can't afford therapy, can't afford insurance, no doctors for treatment, anything. I don't wanna lose him, and I don't wanna give up on him because who knows what would happen if I left, I'm all he has in this world anymore. He wouldn't bother taking care of himself if I weren't here. He's afraid to leave the house, to go anywhere alone. He never even thinks about having sex anymore, and is always exhausted. I initiate it, but he'd rather sleep :/ I feel like I'm losing him and there's nothing I can do to change or stop it from happening. I love him more than anything, and I don't wanna give up and wonder what happened to him for the rest of my life :( I just want our lives to get back on track, and I want the man I fell in love with back. Is this possible, or should I move on and live with a broken heart? I can't bear the thought of living my life without him and the life we've planned together. If anyone has any ideas of how I can help him, please don't hesitate to tell me. I'm at a loss of ideas myself and I'm emotionally exhausted but giving up is the last thing on my mind. I'm just tired of crying myself to sleep and asking "why me?". I'm so torn between what to do and frustrated with my life. I've never felt so alone and scared in my life. I'm only 21 years old but I can't even enjoy my life anymore. Please, someone help me!


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What Guys Said 1

  • He needs professional assistance, in my opinion. Have you considered searching for pro bono counseling services and treatments for him in or around your area?

    • Yes, and I haven't had any luck. Our town sucks, unless you're rich.

    • Show All
    • We do have jobs, that's not the problem. We can't afford "cutting back" with work. And there is nowhere here that does free counseling. I've looked, trust me :/

    • He's highly considering signing up for his military insurance, although that means his check from Guard drills will be cut in half..we're working on getting better paying jobs right now, so I think as soon as we get a better one we'll be better off financially. I'm definitely encouraging that, because then we CAN get him the help he needs.

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