My boyfriend wants us to move in with his parents after the wedding?

Allright so his parents own a whole building and gave a whole floor to each of their of which is my boyfriend's, and he is planning for us to move there, something that completely freaked me out. He is the oldest son so he feels responsible towards his parents, and siblings..but I don't know if I can deal with that, I talked to him , he showed support and he said he will see if he can do something about it, but for that he needs money to buy another appartment and I don't want to put that kind of pressure on him , nor do I want to look like the bad guy who came between him and his parents. I mean, I love his family, but I need my privacy! Drama will be more prone to take place if I live in the same building with his family.. what do you guys think about this ? Am I missing something ? by the way I have a ton of family issues, I'm the oldest too .. I have 3 other siblings, my dad is a violent jerk and my mum suffered a lot..maybe that's why I freaked out , I just want a peaceful life with my husband!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's good to be within range of your parents when they get old. They took care of you when you were young, and they'll likely need a hand or two when they get old. For the most part people try to care for themselves, but age makes a lot of things more difficult. Moving some furniture, fixing a sink, computer, toilet, etc. might be necessary. It's ad***move to turn them down and not lend a hand when they worked half their life to prepare for you and then bring you up and support you to give you the chance you had.

    • I knoow I get that , but I am sure we can do that even if we like half an hour away. Besides, his mom seems to be complicated, I am afraid she will start stalking me , and I won't be able to go out freely..I don't know ..

    • lol, well I guess you guys could always rent out that floor and get your own place somewhere around there. He likely has to hold on to it, it was a gesture by his family to insure he always has shelter and stability. He can't just sell it off, it would defeat the purpose of the gesture and be an insult to his family.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well..

    Its a difficult question..


    I think you'uld move to his parents home if you ask me.

    Because after a point you will feel guilty about this situation because of debt and pressure..

    Maybe a few years later you guys can manage to buy or rent a apartment just for you,

    Because you will not gonna pay a rent or mortgage.

    Tell exactly this to your boyfriend and you wil earn a really passionate kiss :D

    • Yeah that's what I thought about, I guess we ll have to move there now , and later go somewhere else. I do have an appartment that my dad bought me a while ago , but culture here says that the guy has to get the apt, and this would against his dignity as a "man" ,ugh

    • If you have an apartment you guys can move there too ofcourse.

      Theres no such a thing like a man or woman has to anymore but if you saying

      he thinks that he feel responsible for his parents than after a while you can move your apartment Because if you guys wanna create a familiy your apartment is his apartment too : )

  • Please first explain to me how private the floor that you two might have would be.

    • It's private of course, just like a normal building. His family will be like neighbors.

    • I see no problem with it unless he has intrusive and obnoxious parents.

What Girls Said 3

  • Put your foot down! Tell him how unacceptable you think that is and let him know that you can't do it.

  • Is he able to support you and possibly kids if that gig doesn't workout? I font like the found of that.

    If a conflict arises whose side will he be on? Will he back his family up or stick will them.

    It appears he wants his wife to be an extension of them.

    Any of this strike a cord?

    • Yea I am worried about that .. if he takes his mom's side, I ll kill myself !

    • This is not going well at all. Why do you love this guy? Examine that before you decide to down the wedding road. Be VERY SELECTIVE .

      If you doubt about whose his side he'll take then you already know the answer .

  • Maybe you guys can live there for now and save up to move into your own apartment! And what do you mean by floor? Is it a house or is there privacy on each floor? :O

    • It's private of course, just like a normal building. His family will be like neighbors.

    • I think that is OK its not like you are living in the same floor. I can see problems if it is same floor. Maybe you can live there for now until you guys are settled and saved up then move out! :P

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