How should I break up with my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I love him very deeply as a person, but I've stopped having romantic feelings towards him. Because of this, I think it's best that we break up, but I want to do it in a way that will hurt him as little as possible. I would LOVE for us to be friends a couple months later once we've both gotten used to be apart, so I don't want to do anything nasty.

The problem is, he gets very, very emotional when he feels our relationship is threatened and I don't want to say anything that will upset him more. What kind of things could I say to make this as easy on him as possible?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think if you care that much and are not sure about how to break up with him, you shouldn't break up with him, I think you may regret it a bit later and then things won't go the way you wouldn't want them to, if he loves you and feels that way about the relationship anything you say, no matter what will hurt him like hell and probably kill him inside because the fact is, you are breaking up with him, if he gets very emotional when the relationship is threatened he will most likely feel like a failure as if he failed protecting what you have, either way, if you still want to break up with him, don't search for the perfect words, just be 100% honest with him, if you really care about him, tell him the truth as it is, it will be better than saying nice things or offering friendship or nice deals to ease the pain, it will actually kill him in the long run as he will be left with thousands of questions in his mind about what he did wrong that will be haunting him for so long, he may eventually feel bitter or angry about the way things happened and the nice things you offered and weren't happening, he may not want to hear from you ever again in his life, as any contact with you would hurt him, please think about it before doing it, sometimes you think you know someone so much, they/you break up and there you have a different person you don't know, right now he may be so happy thinking about youor remembering any good memory of you two while you are thinking about breaking his heart, I know for women the relationship is over before they actually break up with the guy, for the guy it looks like it came out of the blue in that moment, communication is essential, talk to him about it, work on it together, think about it and tell him what has changed or what needs to be changed you never know, maybe he is feeling same way too and you both could fix it together or leave it in good terms, just be honest, if you are going to break his heart he deserves the truth, I know I look like I'm trying to stop you from breaking up lol, but I've been dumped before by the first girl I loved for real, she tried to be nice like you, she asked me to be friends, she said she still love me and care about me, she just changed and started ignoring me as she was trying to get over me while I was thinking we were friends and all the nice things, we haven't talked in 4 months, I was deeply hurt and I still am, she broke up with me 7 months ago, by now she probably doesn't care if I'm hurt or not anymore, same thing may happen to you, I do feel better now, but I'm still hurt, I didn't get over her 100%, I'm just learning to live with it, your boyfriend will too.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's a break up, it won't be easy for him whatever you say. Just don't be mean but I don't think being mean seems an option to you, you seem to want to break up and make it decent.

    Best thing is to tell things how they are, I think that how you stated things here sound good and "mild", you know? You can't control your feelings, as much as you'd like to, you can't, and you just lost your feelings towards him. The "I want to be friends eventually" is something that's often said but rarely actually done.

    Just let him know that your romantic feelings towards him are gone, that you're sorry but you can't control your feelings, that eventually, when you're both "over it", you can maybe be friends.


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