I'm in love with two girls. What would you suggest?

I would like to start off with saying that I do understand that loving two people at the same time is somewhat wrong, and isn't fair to either party That being said, hopefully I can make sense of my situation, and hopefully get some answers on what to do.

The best way to start this is to explain the background of each girl briefly.

The first girl is a girl that I dated around 4 years ago. We had a decent relationship for about a year, but we both had a lot of growing up to do, and that was easily noticed throughout the relationship. So, we remained friends for the rest of the years.

I moved away from our hometown about 2 years ago, and ended up talking to her in a friendly manner after doing such, but she ended up moving to a town closer to mine for work, and we have seen each other every 3-6 months from that point on. To which every time that we meet. It seems to turn into the romantic setting. It was initially my thought of old feelings remenecing, but I became aware of the difference on this last trip to see her.

This last weekend I drove up to see her. As I drove up there, it seemed as if it would remain a friendly nature, but the dinner conversation turned into a lengthy one, and a bottle of wine donated itself to the cause as well. The remainder of the weekend was spent with mutual friends, but we ended up both sleeping in her bed that evening, and she fell asleep upon me. Though this happened, she spoke earlier the next morning about where we were going. That even though she enjoyed me company. She expressed that she wanted to possibly try to see more come out of it.

The second girl is one to which I dated for a little over 9 1/2 months in the city that I moved to. It's been a difficult relationship to some extent, but she's an amazing girl in general. We've had quite a few good times together, and my family seems to like her as well.

She has the girlfriend/wife features in her that cause a man to see them as a potential long term spouse, but I feel as if she has some growing up to do. She's 2 years younger than myself, and is still learning about who she truly is in this world.

I'm confused as in she seems to be more clingy, but in a good way that's good. With many good other traits, she has grown on me overtime, and I've expressed that I do love her.

Now, I've come to the roadblock of how to approach the situations separately. With the first girl wanting to work toward an answer, and the current ex also wants to see if the potential of becoming a relationship is possible as well.

So, my question comes down to this. What can I do to be honest about the situation, and explain to both that I love them each in their own way, but I want to make a rightful decision, and I can't do that within the time frame that they may want. What would you suggest on what to do to ease the situation, and respect both parties?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should become more in love with paragraph indentations and spacing

    • hahaha... True, a late night question causes grammatical errors it seems.

    • Ha... A late night question has seemed to caused quite a grammatical errors.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't be with both and after choosing one you will always think "what if". So I'd say, stay with your girlfriend if You love her.

    You can talk about it with your friend (the other one) but don't mention it to your girlfriend, trust me ;)

    • Sorry, I apologize as I did not explain thoroughly enough. I'm currently single, and the second girl is my most recent ex.

  • “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”

    ? Johnny Depp


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