Ex sex one week after break up?

Last night my ex called me and said that he wanted to see me. I said for what, "so I can miss you more?" he said no and the he had road by earlier and wanted to stop but didn't. After a little more convo. I told him to come over and we ended up having sex that was so blissful and brand new. Even as I laid thee looking into his eye and pressing foreheads together I wanted to cry because I love him and I don't know what to think or how to feel.

Before we had sex we sat talked about how things were and he said that he's been working a lot and still going to school and thing were going well. But he look so tired, sad and withdrawn and he's even lost weight. After we had sex we sat and talked for a while and as I looked at him I could only think off how much I love him and sent out silent wishes for him to come back. But I didn't say anything I didn't even ask why questions. I just listened and responded to our conversation - he even told me how many times he's seen me since our week-long break up. I've not seen him once and trust me as hard as I've not to, I do looked in every car and hope I see him even if its with a smile and me with a frown ...

It was late and he called a cab and as I walked him to the door I just wanted to plead with him but I didn't. I open the door he steps out and I said bye. Then he turned back and came in and kissed me and hugged me like before we broke up and told me he'd see me later. That made my heart jump and I said OK and closed the door.

As I walked back to my room I had a Mickey d's grin and laid in my bed feeling victorious. Then I started thinking - our sex last night was the best we'd had. But was that what this visit was all about? Why would he say he'd see me later? Are we going to get back together? Is he ok? I thought seeing him was exactly what I needed but now I'm even more confused because I love him and feel like if he loves me the same he wouldn't put me through this. I woke up in the morning teary eyed because I want him back, I want us back - we were good together. Now there is a big void in my heart and my mind can't stop thinking about him.

I haven't called or texted since he left last night even though I wan to. I feel that I shouldn't chase him for answers because he's the one that broke up with me - because so much is going on in his life (which I know for a fact); he should be the one telling me or showing me that he wants to come back. Which I want to say last night was part of him showing me. but I can't think clearly right now because I want him back so bad and I don't want to over rationalize the situation.

I don't know what to think, do or say ... HELP!


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are anything like me, it's only a matter of time before you and your ex get back together. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a little over two and a half years now; he had some issues with depression that kind of just took a really bad toll on our relationship. The longest we went without at least having "ex sex" was about three weeks. We have now been dating/living together for the past five months and are doing absolutely wonderful.

    I can't say for sure that your situation will end up like ours, but from the way that things are going for you right now, I would say that it is definitely a possibility. If people are really serious about being done with someone...they usually make sure not to come around. But if they just need time to figure things out and want to work things out with that person in the long run...they're going to keep that person in their life.

    You're smart for not calling or texting him. Let HIM call and text YOU. Yes, last night WAS part of him showing you that he wants to come back; I truly believe that with all my heart. He's just not ready to come back right now.

    If you want to wait for him, then by all means, do it! But if you find yourself wanting to move on--and clearly having the opportunity to do so--go for it. In my experience, that was what I had to do sometimes in order to know for sure if my ex really wanted me back. Every time he even THOUGHT I was moving on, he flipped out...instead of just saying, "Way to go; good for you." Obviously, if you want someone back, you're going to hate the thought of them moving on. And if you don't, then you won't even really think twice about it. Should this happen with you and your ex, do whatever is going to make you happy. If it's him, wait. And if it's not, continue to explore whatever other opportunities you may find.

    I know it's hard and that nothing makes a whole lot of sense right now, but hang in there. Things like this so often seem to have a way of working out perfectly.

    • It has been hard to not be pushy and demanding. I've been trying to be positive as I look around my house and see the things he's left. We were living together and I still his electronics, the keys to his storage, his beloved turtle and some things he didn't want me to give back. the other stuff he sad he'd be back for. He and I are from two different sides of the track. People always commented on how we become a couple and my family says I can so better. I alway had faith we'd over come.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sex with an ex is almost always great... I think it's because there's a connection there that both people ultimately miss that they don't get with other people, and absence does make the heart grow fonder. While it's great that you two were able to hook up and share a really great experience, after a few days have passed, you have to ask yourself if getting back together is something you really want. Whatever happened that caused you two to separate in the first place, whatever it was, still happened and may become an issue again. I know this from several firsthand experiences. The relationship failed the first time, and while not impossible, is likely to fail again.

    Personally, I don't hook up with exes just as a booty call. If I hook up with an ex, it's for the reason I said earlier... because I want to feel that connection again. I think you're doing the right thing by NOT contacting him... let him come to you. Test the waters and feel out if he's just looking for sex.

    If he contacts you and wants to get together, suggest doing something in public that he is clear won't end having sex and see if he's still interested in getting together, or if you detect a hint of disappointment. That may give you your answer.

    Good luck!


What Girls Said 4

  • do exactly what you are doing,the ball is in his court and no it wasn't just about sex,he can get that anywhere just as you can,he may be having second thoughts,just be patient and continue doing what you have been doing to stay busy,he will come around

  • sorry but that was a booty call, if he wanted to work things out he would have asked you to last night. he just wants sex and to see you for an hour or 2 without the hassle that comes with a girl friend because he's too busy for one

  • NEVER EVER EVER have ex sexxx! you just opened the door for him...you probably gave him the impression that its OK to have sex with you when you "arent in a relationship" together. Ya he might miss you, but you doing this just opened the door...he can still have you (therefor satisfying his "missing you" and his sexual desires.) if he sees he can have sex with you without being a label, he probably will leave it to that. Cut off the sex..dont fall for that. he knows your in a vulnerable state. show him you value yourself, and show him you are HAPPY...nothing is more aggervating to a guy when he sees his ex happy..WITHOUT HIM. "what, how is she happy without me"

  • I think that was a booty call


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